FORMING A TRUE MAN

  Domestic violence, sexual assault, date-rape, sexual trafficking of minors, marital infidelity, street-gang violence, illicit drug abuse, high rates of suicide, increased ‘deaths of despair’, homelessness, are each the major problems confronting our culture right now. Governments regard these issues as matters of justice (punishing offenders) while agencies regard these issues as matters of social justice (helping victims). Both are valuable but neither are equipped or positioned unilaterally to solve the causes of these growing problems, and many in both of these sectors believe that it can never be solved. But I believe they can be. And I need your help. To achieve this, I propose two outrageous, yea – ridiculous – strategies. They are outrageous because they are simple (although not easy); and, they are ridiculous to materialists because they regard them as just fanciful, idealistic and supernatural nonsense. However, I have history on my side. It will involve men and women, young and old. But I particularly need all men to read what I am about to propose and for them to share this with other men and together with everyone else help to bring about the biggest social and cultural revolution our country has ever seen.  

 

WHY TRUE MEN ARE THE SOLUTION AND ARE THE KEY TO THE REVOLUTION

For this much needed revolution to happen it requires the formation of true men.

 You don’t need to be a sociologist to see that there is at least one common thread to most of these societal problems – men behaving badly. We have a crisis of manhood in our society. Prof. Nancy Pearcey’s 2023 book, The Toxic War on Masculinity details why it is reasonable to describe the lack of true men as a crisis. She gives reasons why men are becoming afraid, unsure, and reluctant to be who God created them to be. She draws on good social research to show that men have been duped into being believing that if they act like true men they will be guilty of being “toxic”. Of course this raises the question, what is a true man? Consider this list of traits of a true man which I will contrast with another list of traits of a false man. A True Man is:

* Powerful, using his physical strength to be productive and for the benefit of others;

* Courageous, he faces up to difficult circumstances and conversations that have to be had;

* Fearless, he will take calculated risks and is not afraid to fail when trying something new;

* Learning, he may not ‘schooled’ but he has learned how to learn (especially how to communicate);

* Problem-solving, he doesn’t give up easily but seeks out solutions to life’s problems;

* Committed, he is a man of his word and will finish what he committed to do;

* Thoughtful, he values the ideas of the others and seeks out wisdom;

* Protective, he is a guardian of the vulnerable; 

* Gentle, he is polite and tender in speech, especially toward women and children;

* Considerate, he has learned from the natural strengths of women to think empathetically of others;

* God-fearing, he has said “I will” to God and is not ashamed to publicly worship God;

* Truthful, he is honest and fair in his dealings and conversations with others, and will not comply with the lies of culture.

So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, “Behold the man!”
John 19:5

Jesus is the man — the true man. This is why I propose that all men make Jesus the Christ their model of the true man (Matt. 4:19; 16:24). While the Bible presents several men who were impeccably close to emulating each of the traits, most especially Enoch and Daniel, only the Lord Jesus epitomised each of these twelve qualities of a true man. And since I do not, and neither does or has any other man on the planet, I have to add a thirteenth trait for myself and for all members of our universal brotherhood who would seek to become a true man. This is the trait that God lauded in King David.

And when He had removed Him, He raised up David to be their king, of whom He testified and said, ‘I have found in David the son of Jesse a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’
Acts 13:22

But David was a sinful, fallen man, just like each of us. But he learned the thirteenth trait that qualified him as a man after God’s own heart: how to repent.

¶ Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to Your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! ¶ For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.  Against You, You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight, so that You may be justified in your words and blameless in Your judgment.
Psalm 51:1-4

David learned how to repent by confessing his sin to God and to those he sinned against (Psalm 51) and then discovered the answer to the very thing he sought God for – the cleansing of forgiveness.

¶ Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit. ¶ For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah  ¶ I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
Psalm 32:1-5

Repentance, and all that it involves (including learning how to apologise to the one/s he has injured with his words), is what every man must learn how to do. When a man sins by yelling in anger at his wife, he should repent. When a man mis-uses his strength to physically harm another person. He should repent. This is the only possible means for a man to become a true man.

¶ Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
First Corinthians 16:13

Can you imagine what our society would look like if more men aspired to become a true man? Can imagine how this would cause women and children to flourish if the men of their lives — their husbands, their fathers, their brothers, their uncles, their beaus – were each striving to be a true man? Can you imagine what homes, marriages, and families would like emotionally, economically, psychologically? Could you dare to imagine what public school classrooms could like? Could you possibly believe what a revolution of true manhood would do to our judicial system including prison populations?

 

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A FALSE MAN

In contrast to a true man, a false man is:

• Harmful, he harms people with his words and actions;
  .
• Selfish, he takes care of “Number One” and expects others to also regard him as their “Number One”;
  .
• Uncaring, he fails to empathise or sympathise;
  .
• Angry, he blames everyone else for his troubles;
  .
• Bitter, he is unforgiving and resentful;
  .
• Childish, he is irresponsible and unreliable and subject to unpredictable tantrums;
  .
• Untrustworthy, he will lie, exaggerate, deceive, and misrepresent;
  .
• Lazy, he will procrastinate, waste time on trivialities, and not clean up after himself;
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• Ignorant, he cannot be taught, and has little desire to learn.
•  

The good news, though, is that it is possible for a false man to be transformed into a becoming-a-true-man. And if I am right, our society has a chance of undergoing one of the biggest cultural revolutions in our nation’s history!

 

THE STRATEGY FOR REVOLUTION

Shortly after arriving in Legana and being invited by the 17 members left in the church to be their pastor, I began to share what God had put on my heart. It seemed ridiculous. I was describing a church of hundreds of people that would grow to have 300 men following Christ and worshiping together each Sunday and filling key roles within out State and Nation. While we have made progress, I thought that I had still years of ministry and work ahead of me to see it all finally fulfilled. But with my diagnosis and the need to step down next year, it seems that I may not live to see this happen. However, as restricted as I am by this incurable condition that is progressing without any way of halting it, I am still committed to getting as close to seeing this vision for our society as fulfilled as I can. If you haven’t already guessed, here is the strategy that I am continuing to employ in order to see more men in our State get a vision of what a true man is and how to strive toward reflecting it:

 Firstly, let’s ensure that our house is in order. I want to be an example of the very thing I am urging all other men to strive toward (1Cor. 11:1; 2Tim. 1:13). I want to make sure that I am the husband, father, uncle, and Grandfather that my family needs me to be. I want to be an example to our church of a man striving to be a true man, and to do all I can to inspire the men of our church to strive toward true manhood.

 Secondly, let’s start young! Let’s raise of generation of boys who are in a community of true men who model the humility required to repent when they fail. Let’s begin to treat 13-year-old boys as young men and expect great things of them and to become increasingly responsible for their words and actions – especially as it relates to their interactions with young ladies.

 Thirdly, let’s welcome broken false men into our community and introduce them to Him who changes hearts, minds and lives, from falsity to truthfulness. This requires having pathways for such men to be introduced to the outskirts of our church community through fishing trips, sporting events, men’s breakfasts, and dinners (especially BBQs) together.

 Fourthly, let’s be a prophetic church that exemplifies the qualities of truthfulness and is prepared to boldly declare the truth of God’s Word about sexuality, sex, marriage, fathering, mothering, and discipling. (I encourage you to check out the Bible Study series our Young Adults are doing at the moment, 5 Cultural Lies about Sex.)

Fifthly, let’s encourage the other pastors and church leaders of our city and our State, to join with us in being the kind of salt and light that Jesus referred to:

¶ “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. ¶ “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:13-16

It is my hope, that as we see many of the men of our church take their positions in our city, our State, and our nation, as “gate keepers” (Note the use of this term in 2Sam. 19:8) in business, politics, sport, the arts, and Christian ministry, that each of the key indicators referred to in my opening sentence of this article will become measurably and dramatically improved. As I said in my opening paragraph, the reason I have great confidence that it can is derived from my study of history. I read about it in the Book of Acts. I read about it in the annuls of ancient Christian history. And I recently read about it happening in Prof. Stuart Piggin’s two volume masterpiece, The Fountain of Public History, where Australia’s leading historian documents example after example where Australia has previously experienced such glimpses of the type of socio-cultural revolution I have been referring to. And this is where we all need to play a part. Prof. Piggin has convincingly demonstrated that it was when God’s people united in prayer and action that God has most often moved in ‘revival’. And perhaps the most obvious and inspirational aspect of this account of Australia’s history is that nearly three chapters of his great tome has been spent on how Tasmania was particularly blessed by such glimpses of revival. Now the time for revival glimpses is over! Now it’s time for a sacred revolution that will transform our culture over the course of the next 40 years and sow the seeds for prolonged revival glimpses for centuries to come! 

“I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man, and keep the charge of the LORD your God, walking in His ways and keeping His statutes, His commandments, His rules, and His testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn
First Kings 2:2-3

Your Pastor,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk.

THINGS THAT CHRISTIANS CAN'T TALK ABOUT, Part 2 - DEPRESSION

 THINGS THAT CHRISTIANS CAN'T TALK ABOUT, Part 2 - DEPRESSION

All of us feel sad at some point – even people who are usually happy most of the time will have moments of sadness. Usually for most people there will be some understandable cause of it. This might include the loss of a loved one, a certain disappointment, an accident, or sympathy for friend or family member’s struggles. This kind of sadness is temporary. Yet there is a kind of sadness that lingers for weeks or months which leaves a person physically drained, perhaps teary, thinking dark thoughts, feeling desperately lonely and debilitated. This is usually when clinicians consider someone is experiencing ‘depression’ and it is one of those things that Christians find difficult to admit to or even talk about. Perhaps this is because Christians are supposed to be filled with the joy of the Lord, and able to cast all their anxieties onto the Lord, and therefore, presumably, be immune from such depression. But two facts make this untrue. Firstly, even many of the heroes in the Bible seem to have experienced some form of depression at least for a moment; and secondly, we each probably know of a godly follower of Christ who has done everything right yet still experiences recurring seasons of depression. I consider this topic to be one of the main things that Christians can’t talk about and probably should, and to this end I have some wisdom to offer in how we should go about it.

¶ Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him,
my salvation  and my God.
My soul is cast down within me;
therefore I remember You
from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,
from Mount Mizar.
¶ Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him,
my salvation and my God.
Psalm 42:5-6, 11

ABOUT DEPRESSION

Depression is not a ‘one size fits all’. It effects people differently. Some experience a lack of appetite while others experience an abnormal increase in appetite. Some experience continual suicidal thoughts, while many do not. Some are easily brought to tears, while others experience repeated bouts of anger. Some experience a heightened sense of anxiety while others are able to remain functional in their jobs and responsibilities.

Depression often universally results in prolonged negative, dark, unhealthy thoughts; and, social withdrawal. It frequently leaves a person feeling lonely (or alone), as if no-one cares, and a loss of motivation. However, depression can be treated so that its symptoms are dramatically lessened and even eradicated through either through: medication, counselling, prayer, a change of diet, and regular physical exercise, – or a combination of these. I list several therapeutic remedies other than pharmaceuticals because, while I have good reason to believe that there is some benefit that can be attained from prescribed anti-depressant medication (largely due to my own interactions with those who have greatly benefited from taking it, and also my interactions with the many doctors who have have reported to me the health benefits from their patients who have also taken such medication). But I suspect that many people now look exclusively to pharmaceuticals to solve their health problems. I must admit, over the past few years my cynicism about multi-national pharmaceutical companies’ motives for wanting people to think this way has only magnified. This is why I appreciate those medical doctors who take a holistic approach to helping their patients overcome their depression rather than just prescribing a life-long course of antidepressant pharmaceuticals.

 

BIBLICAL HEROES WITH DEPRESSION

One of the most startling examples of a man of God who had been used mightily by God, yet experienced a season of depression was the prophet Elijah. He lived in Northern Israel after the civil war which saw the ten tribes of Israel to the north of Jerusalem separate from the two southern tribes appoint their own king and establish their own Kingdom (to be known as ‘Ephraim’ or ‘Israel’) distinct from the Kingdom in the line of David and Solomon in the South (which became known as ‘Judah’). In First Kings 18 Elijah challenged the 450 prophets of Ba’al to a duel to see who was the true GOD. The context involved offering a slain bullock on an altar of wood and see which god or GOD would respond with fire to accept the burnt offering. The 450 prophets of Ba’al, despite their incantations, their enchantments, their spells (1Kings 18:26), and then finally the shedding of their own blood through cutting and lancing (1Kings 18:28), did not answer them or consume the sacrificial offering with fire. Elijah then offered them some unhelpful advice – 

And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying,
“Cry aloud, for he is a god.
Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself,
or he is on a journey,
or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.”
First Kings 18:27

 After these false prophets had finished and conceded that they (and their god, Ba’al) had failed, Elijah then asked for the sacrificed bullock and the altar of wood to be saturated in water twice over. Then Elijah cried out a short but profound prayer –

¶ And at the time of the offering of the oblation,
Elijah the prophet came near and said,
“O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel,
let it be known this day that you are God in Israel, and that I am your servant,
and that I have done all these things at your word.
Answer me, O LORD, answer me,
that this people may know that you, O LORD, are God,
and that you have turned their hearts back.”
First Kings 18:36-37

What happened next would have impressed Steven Spielberg (1Kings 18:38)!

I suspect that there would have been a large component of dehydration, malnutrition, and exhaustion, in what happened next to Elijah. He heard that the wicked queen Jezebel who worshiped Ba’al had ordered that Elijah be executed (1Kings 19:1-2). In fear for his life, Elijah fled to the Southern Kingdom to hide from Jezebel’s assassins (1 Kings 19:3). In the pit of despondency Elijah prayed that he might die (1Kings 19:4). And what we see next is that GOD began to address the cause of Elijah’s depression (not just his symptoms).

1. God gave Elijah sleep (1 Kings 19:5a).
2. God gave Elijah company (an angel, 1 Kings 19:5b).
3. God gave Elijah gave Elijah food and water (via the angel, 1 Kings 19:6).
4. God reestablished Elijah’s mission and gave him something constructive to do which involved him interacting with people are realising that his negative assessment of the situation was wrong (1 Kings 19:7, 15-18).  

Elijah is one example of many others recorded in the pages of Scripture who also experienced depression and who experienced almost exactly the same response from God (examples include Jeremiah, and Paul the Apostle).

 

BIBLICAL INSIGHTS FOR IMPROVING MENTAL HEALTH

I am not being naively simplistic about the remedy for depression. (Being simplistic with someone who is battling each of these topics that Christians can’t talk about is a large contributor to why some Christians are reluctant to talk about these issues!) But I see something in the opening chapters of Genesis that I find extremely helpful in managing moods and mental health. Sometimes you have to a little closer at something to realise what you’re actually looking at!

¶ And they heard the sound of the LORD God
walking in the garden in the cool of the day,
and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God
among the trees of the garden.
Genesis 3:8

Firstly, From this verse in the opening chapters of the Bible we see that God had created a paradisiacal environment for mankind to enjoy. (Mankind was not created to live apart from nature (gardens and wildlife). If all you ever see throughout your day is a screen, concrete and steel, your soul is being malnourished which then depletes our mental health!)

Secondly, mankind’s world was one in which they enjoyed a regular interaction with God. (Mankind was not created or designed to live without a vital communion with our Maker. Our prayerful interaction with God is nourishing for our soul.)

Thirdly, it appears that Man and GOD regularly walked together as they spoke with each other. There was a physical manifestation of God which enabled the first man and woman to “hear the sound of the LORD walking in the garden”. The simple act of walking and talking with God as you do is a spiritually replenishing activity. (Mankind was created to take a long daily stroll with God). Even several generations after Adam this was something that Enoch practised (Gen 5:22, 24) and benefited greatly from doing it.

Fourthly, Mankind were given an extensive fruit tree garden from which they could enjoy fresh, unprocessed whole foods. (Mankind was created and designed to eat a diet consisting largely unprocessed whole-foods. Our high-sugar, high complex-saturated fat, high processed diets have a negative impact not just on our physical health, but also on our mental and emotional health.)

Fifthly, Mankind was meant to live with a clear conscience by obedience to God and His Word. (Mankind was created monarchial, that is, royal. We were created in the Sovereign King of the Universe’s image to co-rule this world as His vice-regents. The serpent and its manipulating master, the Evil One, had nothing to offer our original parents except lies. Yet they willingly chose to reject the Truth and accept an outlandish lie. Today, the Evil One and his minions continue to dupe God’s Image bearers with malicious lies. Accepting these lies can only lead to poor mental health. This is why being grounded daily in the truth found in God’s Word is therapeutic for our souls and nourishing for our mental health.)

 

TALKING ABOUT IT

As with each of these topics, I want to encourage you to talk about these things — but I especially want to encourage you (and hopefully model) how to listen to those who do open up about their struggles. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone in those moments is a listening ear and the knowledge that someone cares enough to take the time to seek to understand what they are going through. And, as I have already stated here, and will repeat in Part 3, we should not offer judgment or simplistic answers. It’s my conviction that there are many lonely people in our church and especially outside of our church who long for someone who might offer them these two gifts of a listening ear, and understanding. I hope you can join me in being one of these gift givers.

Pastor at Large,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk.

READ PART 3, DIVORCE