ADVICE WORTH MORE THAN GOLD OR A MOUNTAIN OF CASH ABOUT HOW TO USE REJECTION TO BECOME AN EVEN BETTER, WISER, STRONGER YOU!

 ADVICE WORTH MORE THAN GOLD OR A MOUNTAIN OF CASH ABOUT HOW TO USE REJECTION TO BECOME AN EVEN BETTER, WISER, STRONGER YOU!

For several reasons I am qualified to help people deal with acute and chronic pain. Some acute and chronic pain can be resolved medically. Some pains can go a long way to being resolved with the help of a psychologist. Some pains can be resolved with a hug from mum. But there is a pain that a doctor cannot cure, a psychologist cannot counsel, a mother’s hug cannot alleviate. It is a pain that goes deep – beyond the defences of our integumentary system, our neurological system (including our para-sympathetic nervous system), our muscular system, our skeletal system, our lymphatic system, our renal system, gastro-intestinal system, our respiratory system, our cardio-vascular system, our hormonal system, and our half-share of a reproductive system. It is a pain that wounds: our memory, our sense of self, our estimation of our worth, our confidence, and our ability to connect meaningfully with others (our ability to love and be loved). It is the pain of rejection. It not only effects who we are (our identity) but it also leaches symptomatically into each of these ten-and-a-half biological systems which every human being possesses. I am going to offer all those who have experienced the pain of rejection how they can be healed from its wound, and actually become stronger, wiser, more confident, as a result.

 

A UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE

We have, or will, all experience rejection. Rejection is painful. But its pain ranges from slight to intense depending why we are being rejected and by whom. Sales-people are trained to process rejection. Not every potential customer will buy. Good sales-people understand this (great sales-people learn from this). If you are a Christian, you and your message will be rejected (Matt. 5:11; 10:14). Mature Christians understand this and learn from it. 

 

YOUR IDENTITY

Your identity does not come from those who reject you—and neither does it come from those who accept you! We are each created by God to belong to a community. This begins with our father and mother – biological family. It is this foundational connection with others that contributes to our identity. Sadly, not everyone is blessed with this kind of beginning. Yet, the truth still stands: Your identity does not come from those who reject you—neither does it come from those who accept you. Perhaps it will take years of processing for some to understand to this. In the meantime such vulnerable people are susceptible to the lie that their identity is defined by who accepts them.

 

THE PROBLEM WITH YOU IS…

In preparing couples for marriage I spend a lot of time with them helping them both to understand how to argue.This involves certain rules including: Identify the issue as the problem, not the person as the problem. This rule also goes to the heart of how to deal with rejection: Don’t confuse rejection based on your lack of abilities with rejection of you. One of the most powerful examples of this is the story of José Hernandez. He suffered rejection after rejection after rejection. But each time, and with great help later on from his wife, he was able to understand that he wasn’t being rejected – but his limited abilities for the task were being rejected. He then made a list of each of the criticisms he received as to why he was being rejected by NASA for their astronaut program and set about to gain each of the skills that NASA said he didn’t have. It is one of the greatest examples I can think of that illustrates how to process rejection in a healthy way.

YOU CAN NOT APPEAL TO EVERYONE

You could be the nicest, most caring, most loving, most helpful person in the world, and still be rejected! Jesus was.

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.
Isaiah 53:3

And He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things
and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed,
and after three days rise again.
Mark 8:31

One of the most injurious things you can do to yourself is to begin to define who you are by what those who reject – or accept – you, say you are. Follow Christ’s example instead. His identity, who He truly was, came from His heavenly Father – and so does ours!

 

PROCESSING REJECTION AS THE PATHWAY TO BECOMING A BETTER, MORE CONFIDENT, WISER, STRONGER, YOU

Here are five principles for processing rejection well:

{Read W. Somerset Maugham’s THE VERGER}

There is of course one overarching principle that must also be employed to process rejection properly: forgiveness. It is one of the main ministries of a pastor to help people to firstly receive forgiveness, then secondly to extend it to others. The words of Christ in Matthew 6  which come immediately after The Lord’s Prayer should startle every unforgiving Christian. Sometimes the pain of rejection hurts so much that we forget these sombre words of Christ and the eternal jeopardy they forewarn:

¶ For if you forgive others their trespasses,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15

This warning comes from Jesus who has experienced rejection like none other:

He came to His own people, and even they rejected Him.
John 1:11 NLT

May God grant you the grace that you need to process rejection, to offer forgiveness and thereby grow wiser, stronger, more confident and become a better you. 
Amen.

Pastor at Large,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk.

HOW TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL

YOU ONLY HAVE TWO OPTIONS FOR MAKING SENSE OF THE WORLD

How do we answer the deep questions of life? This is a challenge at the best of times, but it is particularly a challenge when the world — or at least your world — is in turmoil. The deep questions of lie can be summed up into four words: Origins, Morality, Meaning, and Destiny. You really only have two options when it comes to being able to coherently answer these four deep questions of life. Either, there are no answers to these deep questions about life which means life has no order, meaning or purpose; or, there are answers to these deep questions and the world is ordered, purposeful, and has a Cause. I am going to appeal to reason and intuition to substantiate my claim that the second option is actually the only rational explanation for our world and our lives – and is especially necessary to grasp when it is difficult to make sense of it all when the world seems to be going mad.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
John 14:6

OPTION #1, NIHILISM 

The idea that life’s deep questions have no answer and therefore life has no cause, source, purpose, or destiny, is known as nihilism. In Dr. Vishal Mangalwadi’s book, The Book That Made Your World, he opens with the story of Kurt Cobain [pictured right], the former lead singer of the world’s highest selling rock band, Nirvana. “On April 8, 1994, an electrician accidentally discovered a dead body in Seattle, Washing ton. A shotgun had blown the victim’s head into unrecognizable bits. The police investigation concluded that the victim of this ghastly tragedy was the rock legend Kurt Cobain (b. 1967) and that he had committed suicide a few days earlier” (Mangalwadi 2011, 3). Mangalwadi goes on to describe how Cobain had increasingly accepted nihilism. His song lyrics included lines like I want to die and other more obscene expressions of despair. Since nihilism is the belief that life has no purpose, meaning or destiny, and therefore there is no right or wrong conduct (morality), there can be no true justice in this life. This can only lead to the type of despair that Cobain experienced. I think Option #1 is not a positive way of looking at the world and its effect on those who embrace it is nearly always destructive. 

There is a way that seems right to a man,
but its end is the way to death.
Proverbs 14:12

Kurt Cobain

It is very difficult to be a nihilist because it does not correspond to reality or what we all know intuitively. It’s like being in the deep end of a swimming pool and trying to push a large inflated beach ball under the surface of the water. No matter how hard we push, it just keeps forcing its way back to the surface. That’s similar to how it is for the nihilist. Reality and intuition just keeping pushing the truth back to the surface.

¶ Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation
Psalm 42:5

HOW THE ANCIENTS THOUGHT ABOUT THESE GREAT QUESTIONS

The ancients looked at our world marked by natural disasters, human despotism marked by wars and violence, as being directed by some intelligent power. The Greeks called this power, Logos “the reason.” The New Testament writers, particularly the apostle John, picked up on this term coined by the Greek philosophers, and used it to refer to Jesus in John 1:1, 14 —

In the beginning was the Word [the Logos],
and the Word [the Logos] was with God,
and the Word [the Logos] was God.
John 1:1

¶ And the Word [the Logos] became flesh and dwelt among us,
and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father,
full of grace and truth.
John 1:14

To the New Testament writers, Jesus provided the most coherent answers to mankind’s four greatest questions – origins (where did we come from and why are we here), morality (what are the rules of life that will enable me to live my best life), meaning (what is my purpose, potential and place in this life) and destiny (after this life is over what is my eternal destiny). The ancients knew there were answers to these universal questions and that the quest to coherently answer them was mankind’s deepest longing. 

To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles [non-Jews]
are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
Colossians 1:27

 

OPTION #2 – JESUS CHRIST 

Jesus stated that all of mankind’s deepest longings could only be satisfied in coming to know Him! He was either a deranged lunatic with false visions of aggrandisement; or, He may have been telling the truth and thereby been true! There really is no third option.

And this is eternal life, that they know You, the only true God,
and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.
John 17:3

Jesus claimed to be the eternal One and thereby the Cause of all things (Col. 1:16-20). Jesus also claimed to be the highest moral authority and thereby the source of the Law of God for all mankind (Matt. 5:21-22; John 5:22, 27; 8:16). He summed up the ten commandments that He gave to Moses with just two commands that if a person lives by them “they would live forever” (Matt. 22:37-40; John 6:51). Jesus stated that the meaning of life was not a task – but a relationship. This was to be a loving relationship of the highest order and commitment involving devotion to, and worship of, the Source of all Love and Truth (Jn. 17:3; 1John 4:7). He also claimed to be the sole Judge with His Father of the eternal destinies of each person who has or will ever live (John 5:22). Consider Christ’s claims to deity in this unmistakable declaration of His supremacy over your destiny based on your acceptance or rejection of His Lordship-  

For as the Father has life in Himself, so He has granted the Son also to have life in Himself. And He has given Him authority to execute judgment, because He is the Son of Man. Do not marvel at this, for an hour is coming when all who are in the tombs will hear His voice and come out, those who have done good to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil to the resurrection of judgment.
John 5:26-29

 

MAKING SENSE OF A SENSELESS WORLD

But how do these claims of Lordship by Christ help us to make sense of a world at a time when a powerful nation instigates a brutal invasion of its neighbour and wreaks massive loss of innocent life? The Word of God affirms God’s control over nations and history — despite despotic national leaders and dictators — with the assurance that all injustices will be brought to account.

The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;He utters His voice, the earth melts.
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
Psalm 46:6, 10

¶ God reigns over the nations;
God sits on His holy throne.
Psalm 47:8
 

Making sense of this world, especially at a time like this, still requires answering the four deepest perpetual questions of mankind. But it also requires understanding our Creator’s unfolding story of redemption. This story has often been summarised as: Creation; Fall; Redemption; and, Restoration. It was the fall of the original mankind from innocence into rebellion that introduced evil into our world. It was at this moment that God the Creator was revealed as God the Redeemer because His plan of redemption was instigated with the announcement that the Redeemer would be sent into the world as a human to be born in the usual way (Gen. 3:15) but later declared by the prophet that He would be born from a virgin mother (Isa. 7:14; Mtt. 1:21-23). After Jesus fulfilled His role in His Father’s plan of redemption and was raised from the dead and then ascended back into the heavenly dimension of eternity, He had set in train the ultimate destruction of evil and its devilish promoter.

Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil,
for the devil has been sinning from the beginning.
The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.
First John 3:8

But if Jesus Christ is the Logos, the One who enables us to understand our world’s origin, meaning, morality and destiny, who is the Central Character in the Story of Redemption, has conquered evil and the devil, then why is there still evil and devilishness in the world? Two things are important to understand in answering this question. Firstly, no matter what evil schemes and acts of wickedness any devilish dictator has wrought, history reveals that despite this — and despite the tragic losses of life — God has redeemed subsequent events toward the eventual culmination of His yet-to-be-concluded-plan-of-redemption. Secondly, God has decreed that an ultimate day of Judgment will come, but not yet! It is on this basis that I can say with some testable confidence that the present circumstances in eastern Europe will be redeemed by God, and that those not brought to justice in this life will face the full consequences of their actions on the last day (Jn. 12:48). To fully make sense of all this – and every other future act of devilish evil – we need to understand the most important truth of all: God is good and can only do good.

 

THE SOURCE AND STANDARD OF GOOD

The ancient Greeks raised a different  problem. Was God actually ‘good’? This was referred to as the Euthyphro Dilemma. Was something ‘good’ just because it was what commanded by God? or, Was something commanded by God because it was good? This dilemma is resolved by discovering the God is the Source and Standard of all that is good. Therefore, God only ever commands that which is good (it doesn’t become good because God commands it). 

One of the emotional/intellectual problems that people who accept that there must be a God that resembles closely or exactly the God described in the Bible have had over the years is the problem ow Why would an all good and all powerful God allow suffering, evil, and tragedy in His world? Either He is not really all good and doesn’t care — or He is not really all powerful and is unable to do anything about it. Theologians refer to this problem as Theodicy (the problem of evil). This problem is resolved by asking a greater question: Does God ever ordain or allow what we perceive to be “wrong” because He has a morally good reason for doing so? This greater question is answered when we reflect on Christ’s passion and crucifixion. By working through these questions we may be able to understand why God might allow or ordain natural evil (floods, fires, disastrous weather events) and committed evil (such as wars, violence, crimes against people, brutal oppression of others). Especially when we view the world from the perspective of there being an eternal Judge who redeems those who turn to Him, and holds to account those who don’t. This is why answering the question of mankind’s destiny is so important to making sense of life and the world we live in. And it is only in discovering that the questions relating to our (and our world’s) origins is found in the Logos of the Father who became one of us to show us the way back to His Father.

 

THEREFORE, THE FOUR ANSWERS

ORIGINS – of our world and our lives can only be explained by the existence of an uncreated eternal Creator who is the cause of this world and our lives.

MORALITY – we live in a world of rules and laws that govern physics, chemistry, biology, and astronomy. This is why we observe order in the cosmos from gigantic galaxies to the structure of the small cell. It is also why we intuitively know right from wrong which enabled us to conduct the Nuremberg Trials after World War Two. It is why we know that certain wrong conduct is wrong even when a government or court says that it is not (as happened in 1930s and 40s Germany).

MEANING – we are created to worship, to express thankfulness, and give due adoration to our Creator. We do this by praise, prayer, working, creating, playing, loving, helping, teaching, building, judging, nurturing, protecting, and being restored into the True Image of God (2Cor. 4:4-6) we were created to be. The meaning and purpose of life is not happiness, but holiness.

DESTINY – life does not stop at the grave. C. S. Lewis stated in Mere Christianity, “There is no such thing as a mere mortal. No person is a mere mortal because every person that God has created in His image has been created as an Immortal. We will all live forever. Our eternal destiny is determined by whether we yield to Christ as our Saviour from our sins and accept His lordship and live by the power of the Holy Spirit whom He has sent.

By seeing the world this way we will be able to make sense of it all.

Your pastor,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk.

LEADING REQUIRES 2020VISION

It was July 1995 when my life had a major course adjustment. We had recently pioneered a church in very tough part of Melbourne. We had seen the church grow quickly and saw some amazing stories of conversion to Christ happen before our eyes. In three years, the hall we were meeting was just about full. We had a Board that loved our church and helpe to oversee our growth. Then God spoke. Our time was up. I remember the following Sunday when our resignation was announced to church and it was met with tears from the congregation. The shock, sadness, and disappointment was quickly forgotten when it became obvious who God had already prepared to take over. We were presented with several opportunities by the leadership of the Assemblies of God, but none of them were God’s will for us. Then one, very none-eventful, night, God spoke to me. “I’m sending you to Tasmania!” We didn’t know anyone in Tasmania. We arrived unknown, unannounced, and uninvited. 

I was invited to preach at Legana Assembly of God on Sunday September 10th, 1995 which met in the Legana Memorial Hall. The following Sunday, September 17th, was the existing pastor’s last Sunday, and after I had preached the week earlier, the pastor asked me if I would be prepared to have my name presented to the church’s members as their next pastor for them to vote on. Perhaps because I was the only candidate these 17 members had to choose from, I got their vote and commenced as pastor of Legana on Sunday September 24th 1995. In the hand-over from the outgoing senior pastor to myself, I boldly declared that God had revealed to me that this was the church I was to sow my life into and that it would grow to be a church of hundreds. The pastor and his assistant smiled at me with one of those ‘I’m-smiling-on-the-outside-smiles-because-on-the-inside-I-think-you’re-an-idiot’ smiles. I guess they thought, “This guy is stupid! How could this church ever be hundreds of people when the whole town of Legana is only 1500 people?!”  

And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
Matthew 16:18

Because Christ told Peter that He would build His Church, His words have shaped my life as a minister within His Church. Time and time again the Holy Spirit has caused me to see how Christ is far more concerned for our church than I could ever be! And with my mind’s eye I occasionally get what seems to be a glimpse of what He has in store for us – where I again see a church of hundreds of people – which I saw before I even commenced my pastorate at Legana. In my early years, in my energetic exuberance, I gave glimpses of my glimpse to my congregation. This was largely met with looks of indifference – and a few gave me those same creepy smiles that the outgoing pastor and his assistant gave me the first time I shared it! Then there were those who baled. They left with claims that since I wanted more people to come to Christ and join His Church I obviously didn’t care too much for them. Undaunted, I persisted in teaching several sermon series on Christ’s vision, mission, and make-up of the church. Still, not many caught a glimpse of the glimpse. But some did. And they rolled their sleeves up too and joined me behind the plow.

Does he not speak certainly for our sake? It was written for our sake, because the plowman should plow in hope and the thresher thresh in hope of sharing in the crop.
First Corinthians 9:10

     

Ten Little Christians, Poem 

Ten Little Christians came to church all the time;
One fell out with the preacher, then there were nine.

Nine Little Christians stayed up late;
One overslept on Sunday, then there were eight.

Eight Little Christians on their way to Heaven;
One took the low road, then there were seven.

Seven Little Christians, chirping like chicks;
One didn’t like the singing, then there were six.

Six Little Christians seemed very much alive;
One took a vacation, then there were five.

Five Little Christians pulling for Heaven’s shore;
One stopped to take a rest, then there were four.

Four Little Christians each as busy as a bee;
One had his feelings hurt, then there were three.

Three Little Christians couldn’t decide what to do;
One couldn’t have his way, then there were two.

Two Little Christians each won one more;
Now don’t you see, two plus two equals four.

Four Little Christians worked early and late;
Each brought one, now there were eight.

Eight Little Christians if they double as before;
In just seven Sundays, we have one thousand twenty four.

In this jingle there is a lesson true;
You belong either to the building, or to the wrecking crew.

~Author Unknown

I was speaking with a pastor this week who said that he believed God gifted local churches with particular strengths that made them unique. He believed each church then played a part in contributing to God’s plan for their city. The part we are gifted to play is a part of our ongoing story which is summed up in our symbol.

Churches take on a shape based on their strengths, giftings, resident ministries, and leadership. It’s a beautiful thing that God places His children in appropriately shaped churches. This also includes where He places certain pastors. Naturally (or perhaps I should say, supernaturally), churches can change shape as they grow. This is why it is important for a church to understand who God has called it to be. This is what we might call a church’s identity. 

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.
Ephesians 4:15-16

SHAPE #1: DIFFERENT SHOPS

Some churches have the shape of a corner store. All of the customers are regulars. They know they can their newspaper, milk and bread and a few treats in their corner store. They also probably know the owner of the corner store. Some churches are like department stores who not only sell milk, bread, and newspapers, but they also a wider range of items in their departments. Customers probably don’t know the manager of the store, because they are more likely to know the department staff they see regularly. And still, some churches are like shopping centres where customers come because they enjoy the experience of being there and the almost unending range of things that are offered.

SHAPE #2: DIFFERENT DOGS

Dogs, like churches, come in different shapes. There are really small dogs. There are really big dogs. But the strange things about really small dogs is that they are the most ‘yappy’ of all dogs! It’s as if they think they can bluff bigger dogs into thinking that they are actually larger than they are – if they bark a lot. When a really big dog, such as a Great Dane, enters into a compound of various other dogs, there is no doubt in the other dogs’ minds that this Great Dane is bigger than them. Yet, the Great Dane doesn’t have to yap and bark to demonstrate how big it is. Churches can be like dogs. I think we should carry ourselves more like a big dog than really little dog. This requires a big attitude, a big heart, and a big role in protecting the people of our community – even if they aren’t members of our church.

While we are in a canine mood, I also think that within a church comprised of what Jesus described as sheep (John 10:11-14). Australian shepherds use trained sheep-dogs to direct, care for, and protect their sheep. Despite the benefit these dogs undoubtedly provide for sheep, sheep have a natural aversion to dogs. Within a local church, God places a shepherd and then calls people to assist by serving as ‘sheep-dogs’ (elders, home-group leaders, team leaders, department leaders). Charles Spurgeon writes in his book, Soul Winning, that his success as an evangelist was largely due to his ‘hunting dogs’. He describes an incident where he was talking with one of his deacons after a Sunday morning service whose eyes were scanning the balcony of their church sanctuary as they chatted. Spurgeon, says that he was mid-sentence when the deacon suddenly excused himself and darted up into balcony. Upon returning some time later it was discovered that the deacon had spotted a person in anguish of soul and had approached them with an offer of leading them to Christ which was accepted. 

I hope that we can become a church of sheep who are being transformed into big dogs, sheep-dogs and hunting-dogs. When we are called upon to explain our commitment to Christ and His Church, it is reassuring that because we are on the side of truth, we can present our case reasonably without sounding like a little dog trying to bluff those around him.

but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,
First Corinthians 3:15

SHAPE #3: FIRST RESPONDERS

First Responders are members of the Emergency Services (Police, Ambulance, Fire Brigade). Even when these people are off-duty, they are still ready to be on-duty. When they attend a disaster, they arrive equipped, in uniform, and ready to implement their training. They enter into the disaster – but they distinct from it. 

I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world.
John 17:15-16

I hope that our church equips everyone to have the demeanour of a First Responder. That when we go about our daily activities we ready to be on-duty by sharing the Gospel’s message of hope and forgiveness with those whose lives have crashed.

The vision for our church over the next few years isn’t just about our church growing to hundreds and hundreds of more people, or having improved facilities, or more staff, or more programs, it’s about who we are becoming in the process. It’s about answering the call from God to be a difference where it is needed. It’s about stepping up so that we can step out into a world that doesn’t know how to do life/relationships/love very well. It’s about caring enough to pray for the lost, hurting, and broken in our community to come to the Refuge. It’s about being present where it’s messy – equipped to help, in ‘uniform’, ready to implement our training. It’s about a greater commitment to the assembling of God’s people that at times will require sacrifice and raise questions from those who want what you have been found for. 

¶ After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”
Revelation 7:9-10

Pastor Andrew