Friday 8 March 2024

ADVICE WORTH MORE THAN GOLD OR A MOUNTAIN OF CASH ABOUT HOW TO USE REJECTION TO BECOME AN EVEN BETTER, WISER, STRONGER YOU!

 

For several reasons I am qualified to help people deal with acute and chronic pain. Some acute and chronic pain can be resolved medically. Some pains can go a long way to being resolved with the help of a psychologist. Some pains can be resolved with a hug from mum. But there is a pain that a doctor cannot cure, a psychologist cannot counsel, a mother’s hug cannot alleviate. It is a pain that goes deep – beyond the defences of our integumentary system, our neurological system (including our para-sympathetic nervous system), our muscular system, our skeletal system, our lymphatic system, our renal system, gastro-intestinal system, our respiratory system, our cardio-vascular system, our hormonal system, and our half-share of a reproductive system. It is a pain that wounds: our memory, our sense of self, our estimation of our worth, our confidence, and our ability to connect meaningfully with others (our ability to love and be loved). It is the pain of rejection. It not only effects who we are (our identity) but it also leaches symptomatically into each of these ten-and-a-half biological systems which every human being possesses. I am going to offer all those who have experienced the pain of rejection how they can be healed from its wound, and actually become stronger, wiser, more confident, as a result.

 

A UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE

We have, or will, all experience rejection. Rejection is painful. But its pain ranges from slight to intense depending why we are being rejected and by whom. Sales-people are trained to process rejection. Not every potential customer will buy. Good sales-people understand this (great sales-people learn from this). If you are a Christian, you and your message will be rejected (Matt. 5:1110:14). Mature Christians understand this and learn from it. 

 

YOUR IDENTITY

Your identity does not come from those who reject you—and neither does it come from those who accept you! We are each created by God to belong to a community. This begins with our father and mother – biological family. It is this foundational connection with others that contributes to our identity. Sadly, not everyone is blessed with this kind of beginning. Yet, the truth still stands: Your identity does not come from those who reject you—neither does it come from those who accept youPerhaps it will take years of processing for some to understand to this. In the meantime such vulnerable people are susceptible to the lie that their identity is defined by who accepts them.

 

THE PROBLEM WITH YOU IS…

In preparing couples for marriage I spend a lot of time with them helping them both to understand how to argue.This involves certain rules including: Identify the issue as the problem, not the person as the problem. This rule also goes to the heart of how to deal with rejection: Don’t confuse rejection based on your lack of abilities with rejection of you. One of the most powerful examples of this is the story of José Hernandez. He suffered rejection after rejection after rejection. But each time, and with great help later on from his wife, he was able to understand that he wasn’t being rejected – but his limited abilities for the task were being rejected. He then made a list of each of the criticisms he received as to why he was being rejected by NASA for their astronaut program and set about to gain each of the skills that NASA said he didn’t have. It is one of the greatest examples I can think of that illustrates how to process rejection in a healthy way.

YOU CAN NOT APPEAL TO EVERYONE

You could be the nicest, most caring, most loving, most helpful person in the world, and still be rejected! Jesus was.

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.
Isaiah 53:3

And He began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things
and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed,
and after three days rise again.
Mark 8:31

One of the most injurious things you can do to yourself is to begin to define who you are by what those who reject – or accept – you, say you are. Follow Christ’s example instead. His identity, who He truly was, came from His heavenly Father – and so does ours!

 

PROCESSING REJECTION AS THE PATHWAY TO BECOMING A BETTER, MORE CONFIDENT, WISER, STRONGER, YOU

Here are five principles for processing rejection well:

{Read W. Somerset Maugham’s THE VERGER}

There is of course one overarching principle that must also be employed to process rejection properly: forgiveness. It is one of the main ministries of a pastor to help people to firstly receive forgiveness, then secondly to extend it to others. The words of Christ in Matthew 6  which come immediately after The Lord’s Prayer should startle every unforgiving Christian. Sometimes the pain of rejection hurts so much that we forget these sombre words of Christ and the eternal jeopardy they forewarn:

¶ For if you forgive others their trespasses,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15

This warning comes from Jesus who has experienced rejection like none other:

He came to His own people, and even they rejected Him.
John 1:11 NLT

May God grant you the grace that you need to process rejection, to offer forgiveness and thereby grow wiser, stronger, more confident and become a better you. 
Amen.

Your Pastor,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk.

Friday 1 March 2024

THE MYTHICAL PATHWAY TO HAPPINESS

I’ve accidentally found myself enrolled in a Ph.D. program. I kind of blame Associate Professor Stuart Piggin for this. A few years ago I was having some serious discussions with him about doing a Ph.D. in Historical-Theology with Macquarie University focusing on the contribution of Dr. F.W. Boreham. But I found myself unable at that time to proceed. In my discussions with him last year about my health prognosis and what I wanted to be able to do in the remaining time I have left, he suggested focusing instead on Philosophical-Theology and enquiring with Monash University about doing it with them. I took his sage advice and did as he said. This week, after six months of enrolment processes, I actually formally commenced with Monash as a part-time extension (distance) student. The result was that after my first zoom meeting with my supervisor I am now having to delve into an arena which requires me to be able to convince a critical secular audience that my proposal about the Bible’s truth claims are reasonable. Oddly, in order to do this, I have to explain in some depth what C.S. Lewis meant by the word, myth. And to do this I have to draw even deeper on the writings of a now dead French philosopher who is regarded as the greatest exponent of what a myth is! Therefore, I am going to tell you something quite shocking. It might be advisable for you to go and get a strong cup of tea, then return to this screen, and read on while sipping your tea, to absorb some of what I am going to tell you.

 

SOME MYTHS ARE WIDLEY BELIEVED

I used to believe that a ‘myth’ was simply a pointless made-up story that was obviously not true. There are indeed myths that are false but are still believable (this is verified by so many people do believe them). An example of this may be the myth about Galileo and the Roman Catholic Church: In 1633, Galileo was summoned to the Vatican to defend heliocentricity (the Earth and planets revolve around a relatively stationary Sun at the centre of our Solar System). It is believed by that this was a battle between religion and science. But this is a myth. It was a battle between the ‘official’ settled science (based on the unchallenged teaching of the revered Aristotle) and the science based on the new evidence from the recent invention of “telescopes”. Thus, it was not ‘religion versus science’, it was ‘untested-claims versus evidence-based-science’.

There are other false myths, especially when it comes to how to be happy. For example, it is a myth that happiness comes from putting yourself first. (You can actually use the Galileo principle to test this myth.) 

¶ For the despondent, every day brings trouble;
for the happy heart, life is a continual feast.
Proverbs 15:15

 

NOT ALL MYTHS ARE FALSE!

As I began to study the philosophy of myths I have learned that ‘myths’ aren’t necessarily false. A myth is also the term used to describe God intervening into the affairs of humankind. The telling of these moments of divine intersection into human history can be called myths. These stories sound fantastical because they necessarily involve supernatural beings doing supernatural things. When C.S. Lewis (Jack) was a young lad, tragically his mother died of cancer at the age of 45. Lewis’s father emotionally retreated from his son. The young Jack retreated into the world of books – especially mythological books. He appreciated Irish mythology; he liked Greek mythology; but, he loved Norse mythology. By the time he turned 18 he had long abandoned his upbringing as a Christian. Thus, he entered Oxford University as an atheist and graduated with a degree in philosophy. After graduating he was appointed as a tutor in philosophy at Oxford and became friends with several Christians who challenged his atheism. One of those friends was J.R.R. Tolkien. Lewis was already beginning to question his atheism as a result of his conversations with his Christian friends, including Tolkien. But it was eventually when he and Tolkien took a famous stroll together that Tolkien asked Lewis, “You enjoy myths don’t you?” “Yes, of course!” Lewis responded. “Have ever considered that Christianity is a myth?” asked Tolkien. “Yes I have” said Lewis. “But have you considered that Christianity is the true myth?” asked Tolkien. The question jolted Lewis. Like a hook in his soul, this question haunted him. The myth of Christianity was unlike any other myth. These other myths – Irish, Greek, and Norse, were clearly not true because they didn’t involve actual historical characters or a specific time in human history. But Christianity, on the other hand, Lewis realised, involved verifiably historic characters and took place in an identifiable location, at a verifiable time in human history. Not long after this question from Tolkien, Lewis reluctantly converted to Christianity, He had accepted the true myth.

 

THE OTHER TRUE MYTHS TO HAPPINESS

If we accept that a true myth is an intervention by God into our history, then perhaps we should also accept that a true myth is when God offers supernatural principles for dealing with difficulties in life — even when these principles seem to be counter-intuitive. For example, when it comes to enjoying true happiness consider the following principles from God’s Word that seem to be counter-intuitive:

INTUITIVECOUNTER-INTUITIVE
1.  In solving life problems, if someone else wins, I must end up losing and this always makes me sad.It is possible for a problem to be solved in a “win-win” fashion where everyone can be happy.
2. If I take time off, then I will not get everything done that I need to, and this makes me sad.Working from rest, rather than resting from work, actually increases your productivity which leads to increased satisfaction which produces happiness.
3. Getting ahead in my business or career requires that I sacrifice time with my family in order to provide what they need to be happy.Most spouses and children would rather have more time with you than your money. You are a far greater source of happiness to your family and this actually increases your likelihood of being happy.
4. I need to achieve all my dreams and goals before I can help anyone else. Interruptions from needy people prevents me from being happy.Giving to others what you actually want invokes God’s law of sowing and reaping in which you are the happy beneficiary.
5. I have to buy it now or I’ll miss out and won’t be able to impress people. This is why I have to go into debt to do it.Delayed gratification, waiting to buy something because you are saving up for it, actually increases your appreciation for the thing eventually purchased which created a sense of happiness in you.

God’s Word provides supernatural wisdom for attaining lasting happiness:

(i) Don’t make happiness your goal in life – instead, make goodness (ie. Christlikeness) your life goal.

(ii) Don’t assume that others are responsible for your happiness – but you can contribute to the happiness of others and in so doing find personal happiness.

(iii) Don’t put yourself first – your true happiness is more likely to come from sacrificially serving and helping others.

(iv) Don’t always be in a hurry – a truly happy person is a very patient person (instead of looking for the smallest line at the supermarket checkouts, stand in the longest one and chill. Try it.)

(v) Don’t be boring. Try new things. Meet new people. Say ‘yes’ to something you would impulsively say ‘no’ to. Interesting people are usually happy people and interesting people usually have a growing list of interests.

Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
happy are those who hold her tightly.
Proverbs 3:18 NLT

Amen.

Your Pastor,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk. 

Friday 16 February 2024

TRUST YOUR UNCERTAIN FUTURE TO A CERTAIN GOD

 

A CERTAIN GODWe can be reasonably certain about many things. In fact, without this certainty about life, none of us could function. We can be certain that tonight the sun will ‘set’. Tomorrow the sun will ‘rise’. After the February 28th it will be February 29th. This year there will be international unrest and much political instability in many parts of the world. In the coming months global warming will be identified by politicians as the source of floods and wildfires. Several high profile international celebrities will die this year. Archaeologists will make a discovery that will require some aspects of history to be rewritten. And you will certainly have one of the most memorable moments in your life in the coming days. You see, there are clearly some things we can be quite certain about. However, there are some aspects about our future that we cannot be certain about, yet in those moments we can be certain about what we should do.

¶ Do not boast about tomorrow,
for you do not know what a day may bring.
Proverbs 27:1

Life: A Certain Great Adventure

Life is a gift. Used wisely this gift can bring great joy and blessing to you and to those you serve. We have so much untapped potential to experience extraordinary funlaughterhappiness, and joy with this life-gift. Consider for a moment this wonderful gift we each have. We are created curious. We are created to explore. We are created to discover. We are created to invent. We are created to interact with interesting people. We are created to beautify – our possession, our surroundings, our appearances, our dinner-plates, our gardens, our homes, our cities, and our school book covers. We are created to help each other and find great joy in doing so. God has designed human life to be wonderful, winsome, and slightly weird – especially when we live it the way He has made for us. Life certainly is a great adventure. 

¶ As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy.
First Timothy 6:17

But life also has moments that we didn’t see coming. In the Bible, Job did not see his sufferings coming. On Sunday December 7th 1941, the US Naval personnel stationed at Pearl Harbour had no idea what was about to happen – an event that changed the course of human history. On Tuesday September 11th 2001, 2996 people who turned up for work in New York City at the World Trades Centre Towers, but never saw the two planes coming that deliberately crashed into their place of work that would kill them in minutes. In 1990 I never imagined that my day would end with me in a coma in the Footscray Hospital after being hit by a Nissan Patrol while riding my motorcycle. It became a moment that would plague me for the rest of life leading to me being hospitalised on January 20th 2023 and given a very unwelcome diagnosis and prognosis. 

In her recent book, Being God’s Image, Dr. Carmen Imes recounts this moving account that reminds us that people’s futures are often uncertain.

One of our college friends suffered from debilitating migraines for over a decade. He spent his days, months, and years secluded in a dark bedroom. His wife worked full time to provide for their family. His children barely knew him. Doctors were unwilling to give him stronger drugs to knock out the pain because they didn’t want him to become addicted. So Chris suffered in silence.

One week he got a doozy of a headache that felt different from his typical migraine. After running some tests, doctors discovered an inoperable brain tumor, unrelated to his chronic migraines. They told Chris he was dying. Friends and family members were stunned. Chris, on the other hand, was elated. Finally, he could see the light at the end of his suffering! He would be healed, and he would see Jesus.

Ironically, since he was dying, doctors were no longer worried about habit-forming drugs, so they gave Chris strong painkillers. For the first time in years, he could leave his dark room and engage with his family. He attended his children’s games and programs. They even went to Disneyland.

In the six months before his death, Chris joined Facebook. After years of withdrawal due to light sensitivity, Chris could finally reconnect with old friends. Talking with Chris was surreal—he was ecstatic about dying. Grounded. He understood what mattered most. And with no mask to hide behind, Chris spoke life into each of us. Chris taught the rest of us how to live.

Imes, Carmen Joy. 2023. Being God’s Image: Why Creation Still Matters. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic: An Imprint of InterVarsity Press. Page 101

Life can certainly host unwanted moments. But there is a certain way to deal with an uncertain future.

 

Trust your uncertain future to a certain God

¶ Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make straight your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

What I am telling you now is not some untried theory. I am facing an uncertain future. I am applying the principles that God has given us to live a fruitful, effective, enjoyable life. To do this we stay in the community of our church family (we generally call this fellowship). Secondly, we worship God with praise and thanksgiving both in the midst of congregation (Ps. 22:22) and in private (Matt. 6:6). Thirdly, we prioritise the hearing and heeding of God’s Word (Ps. 119:169). If there are times when this is too difficult, then let me help. Have a look at this on YouTube which I have made for times just this. And fourthly, we must continue to pour our heart out to God in prayer. Sometimes there will be times when this becomes difficult for worn-out people as well. I suggest in those times opening up the Book of Psalms to Psalm 83 and pray that Psalm as your own. I can tell you from experience that these principles help us to deal with uncertain futures. I’d be interested to hear from you in comments if this has been helpful or what you do in moments of your uncertain future.

Your Pastor,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk.

Friday 9 February 2024

LOW COST LIVING

 

LOW COST LIVINGTurn on any TV or radio news lately and there’s bound to be a story about the current “cost of living crisis”. We all feel it. Initially most people accepted the widespread price-rises were caused by 2020-21 pandemic lockdowns. But whatever the reasons for the rapid price hikes over the past two years, every time we go to the supermarket we feel it again. While governments are striving to curb the impact of this cost of living crisis, there remains a way to enjoy low cost living. The key to this is recognising that the most valuable things in life are literally priceless. The path to enjoying low-cost living is to be found in Christ, and what He taught — and it begins with treasure.

 

‘TREASURE’ IS BOTH A VERB AND A NOUN

If you remember your Primary School English lessons, you might recall that a verb is a “doing” word (I run, I am running), or a “being” word (“I am.” “You are.”) and a noun is a person, place, or thing. Some words, depending on how they are used, such as run can be both a verb (“I run.”) or a noun (“I am going to the run hosted by Parkrun.”). Treasure is another such verb/noun word. We treasure something as an action or feeling (a verb); or, we can store our treasure (as a noun). Jesus taught that it was necessary for His followers to understand how to treat our treasure, and why it was even important to know what to treasure:

¶“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21 

Jesus taught that true treasure is not anything we can have or achieve in this life – but it is something we must do. We should store up real, lasting treasure in heaven by treasuring the will God for our lives. It is in seeking to do the will of God, which begins with loving God and loving our neighbour as ourself, that we discover that real treasure are literally priceless. We were created to seek this treasure. To love the Source of all love and to share His love as our own by sacrificially loving others with our hearts, our time, our talents, and our temporal treasures. When you find someone doing this, you have found someone who has discovered the kind of treasure that Jesus was talking about in this Matthew 6 passage. Jesus stunned His original audience by stating that this treasure literally out-values all earthly treasures! Take a seat, close your eyes for a minute to still your soul, and drink in these shocking words by Jesus:

¶ The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up.
Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
Matthew 13:44

The man in this parable is prepared to forego everything he has to enter into a relationship with Jesus – the Ultimate Treasure! This man was not buying this Ultimate Treasure, or even exchanging all his wealth and possessions for it – because God the Father offers it freely to all who will repent and trust Christ! This is the essence of low cost living! Someone else has paid the debt we all owe to God and then offered us riches beyond measure. In essence, this Matthew 13:44 parable is about trust. The man who sold all that he had to buy the field where the Kingdom of God’s Treasure was, was actually relinquishing his trust in himself. The who one who turns to Christ as their Ultimate Source of salvation, hope, and provision, is declaring their total trust in Christ.   

 

WHO WANTS TO BE RICH AND FAMOUS?

For many people, being rich and famous is their very purpose of life. For many other people the purpose of their life is to be happy and healthy. I think both groups of people are misguided. Both groups may be sincerely pursuing noble things, but they not pursuing the Ultimate Purpose for their existence.

And others are the ones sown among thorns. They are those who hear the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.
Mark 4:18-19

Jesus warned that making money or fame your life’s purpose (your idol) in which you religiously trust to give you purpose and meaning was a recipe for spiritual death. Ironically, the purpose who seeks Him first often ends up in this life and in the next having more than enough and even plenty to share with others, being truly happy and respected by the few who get to know them.

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. ¶ “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Matthew 6:31-34

 

THE MAP TO LOW COST LIVING

Down through the centuries millions of Christians have been martyred for their faithful witness to Christ’s Lordship. After Jesus raised Lazarus from dead I wonder if Lazarus ever experienced any fear again? Athanasius tells us of the Christians who had been recently martyred in his era and states that through their faith in Christ and God the Father’s gift of eternal life, these early Christians were fearless witnesses. Their persecutors often remarked that their threats of torture and death rarely dissuaded these Christians from preaching about and sharing Christ with others. Today, during this temporary cost-of-living crisis, we need to be reminded that the value of our lives is not measured by the size of our bank account, how many social media followers we have, what type of car we drive, the postcode of our house, or our list of achievements. The value of our lives in measured by what, or in Whom, we are trusting to give us our purpose, meaning, laws for life. If it is anything or anyone other than Jesus the Christ, Lord of Heaven and Earth, our souls are bankrupt and broken. But if it that we have turned our lives over to Christ as the Saviour and God in Whom we trust are committed to living a focused life in which we lay up in heaven treasure that will last forever. Such a believer makes Christ and His Church their priority. Such a believer is able to do this at relatively low cost despite these temporary cost of living crises that we seem to be all experiencing at the moment!

Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
First Timothy 4:7b-8

 Amen.  

Your Pastor,

Andrew