FAILING WELL

  FAILING WELL

I want to discuss the story of two men who failed but where only one who failed well. The story of these two privileged men is similar but couldn’t be any different. One of them grew up, lived, and worked in a small village all his life. In his village, everyone knew him, and he knew everyone. The other man moved around a lot with his family when he was young and eventually moved to a large city where he was quite a loner and could never seem to make many (if any) friends. But the day came when providence brought them together and they nearly became lifelong friends. One of the things they had in common was that they both famously failed – yet only one of them failed well.

 

THE ONE MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED WAS THE ONE WHO FAILED BEYOND REPAIR

If the twelve disciples of Christ had a “Year Book”, the one that would have been voted “the most likely to succeed” each year would have been the one with the highest academic credentials, the most sophisticated grasp of at least four languages, and a sound financial background. This was Judas Iscariot. The other disciple would have been voted least likely to succeed, because, quite frankly, he failed so often and so frequently and so magnificently. On several occasions in the Gospels he is recorded saying things that are “stupid” (which should give rest of us some comfort who also have a track record of occasionally saying stupid things). Take the time when Moses and Elijah appeared to Christ on Mount Hermon and Peter suggested that he run to the camping store to buy and erect some tents to shelter them (Matt. 17:4). Then there was the time when all the other disciples were there when Jesus publicly and sharply rebuked Peter for what he had just said – 

But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a hindrance to Me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”
Matthew 16:23

While Simon Peter failed so often, there is actually no record of Judas Iscariot ever failing before he betrayed Christ. But I suspect that there were seven warning signs that led to Judas Iscariot on an accelerated process of failing before he ultimately failed by betraying Christ. Unlike those who have learned to fail well, Judas Iscariot’s path to failing badly included deceit, duplicity, dishonesty, and adopting a double life.

 

 

YOUR PAST DOES NOT HAVE TO DEFINE YOUR FUTURE 

Peter seemed to have a knack for putting his foot in his mouth and doing the wrong thing. Judas on the other hand gave the appearance of having it all together and never failing. But all the while he was actually setting himself up to epically (literally) fail. Here’s what his downward (invisible) spiral looked like (which were also the seven warning signs that something was wrong and getting worse) –

1.  CLOSED: While Jesus was challenging His disciples to be authentic, Judas was not open or transparent with the other disciples. 

¶ “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Matthew 5:8

2.  COCKY: Judas probably felt superior to the other disciples and this arrogance and pride (Satan’s origin sin) would have caused him to distance himself from his faith community. 

Jesus answered them, “Did I not choose you, the twelve? And yet one of you is a devil.” He spoke of Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he, one of the twelve, was going to betray Him.
John 6:70-71

3.  CONFUSED: Judas probably confused God’s grace as God’s approval due to him being used to work signs and wonders (Lk. 10:17) and that he was selected as one of Christ’s special disciples. 

¶ And He called to Him His twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal every disease and every affliction.
Matthew 10:1

4.  CONCEALED: Judas increasingly withdrew from the other disciples with excuses for his absence (John 13:27-29). 

5.  CONCEITED: Judas seems to have been largely unaccustomed to failing – at least, not in public – and he had certainly never learned to fail ‘well’, he was not prepared to ask for help. 

6.  CONTEMPT: His increasing withdrawal and bitterness toward the other disciples (who were all, apart from him, from Galilee) caused him to be susceptible to Satan schemes and therefore in the latter part of his life he was actually living a double-life.

¶ Then one of the twelve, whose name was Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What will you give me if I deliver Him over to you?” And they paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment he sought an opportunity to betray Him.
Matthew 26:14-16

7.  CALLOUSED: Despite spending three years with God Incarnate who spoke with the greatest love and authority that any man ever spoke — before or since — Judas’ heart had become hardened and indifferent to the Word of God even to the extent when Christ directly warned him that his betrayal would have eternal and damnable consequences!  

He answered, “He who has dipped his hand in the dish with Me will betray Me. The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.” Judas, who would betray Him, answered, “Is it I, Rabbi?” He said to him, “You have said so.”
Matthew 26:23-25

 

HOW DID PETER LEARN TO FAIL SO WELL?

It might be easy to think that Peter had learned to fail so well because he had so much practice at it! But that would be the same mistake as thinking that a blow-fly was really good at flying through a glass window inside your house! Just because you practice something over and over and over again, does not mean that you can do a thing well. But Peter did know how to fail well because he consistently did the four things that everyone who fails well does well.   

1.  CONNECTION: Despite failing, making mistakes, doing the wrong thing, saying something stupid, Peter remained transparent and kept within his faith community (the other disciples and Jesus).
Our Enemy knows how easy it is to inflict condemnation on God’s children and tries to leverage this by tempting them to withdraw from their church family.

2.  CORRECTION: Peter was lovingly and firmly corrected, and learned how to humbly accept this correction. 

3.  CONTRITE: Each time Peter failed he humbled himself and repented.

4.  COMMUNITY: Peter stayed close to Christ and close to Christ’s community of believers who each restored him after he had failed. 

If you want to learn how to fail well it will always involve the same four principles for you as well.

 

FAILING ALWAYS BRINGS BROKENNESS 

There is a simple and charming picture, presented by Christ at the Last Supper, of what becoming a blessing involves. 

¶ Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is My body.”
Matthew 26:26

Jesus took. Jesus blessed. Jesus broke. Jesus takes a person who yields to Him. He blesses that person—and that blessing often intensifies when that person is somewhat broken when they fail well. Every one who has a heart for Christ, just like the apostle Peter, will fail — and not just once. In fact, as I reflect on each of the great leaders in the Scriptures, it occurs to me that each one of them failed well.

> Abraham denied that he was married to Sarah.

> Jacob tricked and deceived his dad to steal the first-born blessing from Esau.

> Moses got angry and murdered a man.

> David committed adultery and ordered the murder of an innocent man.

> Jeremiah was overwhelmed with discouragement and told God that he would no longer serve Him. 

How you respond to your failures reveals what you think about God! Our God redeems our failures. He is able to take all of our mistakes and use their result for good (Romans 8:28). But we must learn to fail well. Perhaps this begins by understanding that God is a merciful, loving, gracious, forgiving, redeeming God toward us – not because of anything we have done – but because of who He is! This is why First John 1:9 is not just a new Christian’s memory verse. It’s an integral means by which we can fail well.

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
First John 1:8-9

 

WELL, FAIL WELL

If there was a ’Year Book‘ for Christ’s Twelve Disciples, which one would have been voted “Most likely to succeed”? Probably Judas Iscariot would have. I doubt that Simon Peter would have received any votes. After all, he had failed and goofed up so many times! But in the end, both men failed in similar ways yet only Peter ‘failed well‘. How he did it should give those of us who regularly fail — and all too often feel like failures — hope that God is able to redeem both us and our failures.

Your pastor,

Andrew

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EVEN THOUGH IT’S UNFATHOMABLE, UNSEARCHABLE, AND UNCOMPREHENSIBLE, YOU STILL NEED IT!

EVEN THOUGH IT’S UNFATHOMABLE, UNSEARCHABLE, AND UNCOMPREHENSIBLE, YOU STILL NEED IT!

God, according to James the brother of Jesus, gives to His children wisdom (James 1:5). While James tells us that God gladly and generously gives this wisdom, there is more that the Scriptures tell us about how God gives wisdom to His people than what James tells us. I suspect that there are some of you reading this who could do with some godly wisdom right now. If that’s you, you might benefit from taking the next few moments to consider what else God’s Word says about God’s wisdom.

 

WHAT IS WISDOM?

¶ And Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favour with God and man.
Luke 2:52

When asked to define wisdom, most people end up describing it or giving examples of it, rather than actually defining it. Perhaps defining wisdom is similar to the difficulty we have in defining the colour red. without referring to examples of something red? We might attempt to define wisdom by noting that it is both acquired through learning (Prov. 9:9) and is also given by God (James 1:5) and that it results in godly decision making and virtuous courses. Wisdom is not merely, as some have inadequately defined it, the application of knowledge. You might know how to steal, but applying that knowledge is not very wise! Wisdom is the godly use of knowledge which leads to the righteous application of that knowledge for the highest welfare of those you are responsible for. Therefore there is no greater example of wisdom than Jesus (1Cor. 1:24, 30).

 

YOU DO NOT NEED MONEY TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS!

Feasts are made for laughter,
and wine makes life merry,
but money is the answer for everything.
Ecclesiastes 10:19

The Book of Ecclesiastes appears to have been written sometime during the Babylonian Exile. It’s author used a “persona literary device” where an author would write as if he or she was an actual historical character—in this instance, King Solomon. Thus the author of Ecclesiastes voices the backslidden King Solomon as saying that “money is the answer for everything” or, that money solves every problem. But, as I suspect, the author was expecting all readers to disagree with this absurd claim – just ask some of the world’s wealthiest celebrities whether their mind-boggling wealth helped them solve their marriage problems or give their lives meaning. Money certainly does not solve all problems. But wisdom can.

But there was found in it a poor, wise man, and he by his wisdom delivered the city. Yet no one remembered that poor man.
Ecclesiastes 9:15

  

HOW WE LEARN WISDOM

Wisdom can be acquired by learning. The Book of Proverbs reveals that there are three ways that a person can learn to be wise.

1. INSTRUCTION – Wisdom can be learned from a wise instructor either directly or by seeking out their advice.

Hear instruction and be wise,
and do not neglect it.
Proverbs 8:33

2. BY (OUR) MISTAKES – Wisdom can be learned from the mistakes we make and from learning from the mistakes of others. I wonder if God allows us to make mistakes and even fail so that others can learn from our mistakes.

For the righteous falls seven times and rises again
Proverbs 24:16a

3. BY CONTEMPLATION – Wisdom can be learned by reflecting, thinking things through, and contemplating options and possible outcomes.

The simple believes everything,
but the prudent gives thought to his steps.
Proverbs 14:15

Proverbs also describes several sources of wisdom. These include wise counsellors, lessons from the history, the wisdom in God’s Word, and from our parents. 

 

ABOUT GOD’S WISDOM

¶ Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!  ¶ “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counsellor?”  “Or who has given a gift to Him that He might be repaid?”  ¶ For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen.
Romans 11:33-36

Jesus Christ Himself was the ultimate personification of wisdom (1Cor. 1:24, 30), yet He Himself, when He became incarnate, had to ‘increase’ in wisdom. And chances are that if Jesus had to ‘increase in wisdom’ then so do we! In God’s unfathomable wisdom He permits us to learn how to increase in wisdom by learning from our mistake and failures. Yet, there are times when, as James the brother of Jesus wrote, that God gifts wisdom to His children. This may not be a ‘Matrix type’ of human-software update, but it could come to you in way you did not expect in response to your prayer for God’s wisdom where you have a “light-bulb moment”. And when you experience one of those rarer moments of ‘received’ wisdom (where God gives us wisdom), it might be time to implement some wisdom from the life of Daniel, who, when it happened to him, he gave God the glory for it.

Then the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night. Then Daniel blessed the God of heaven.
Daniel 2:19

I wonder if this lesson from the life of Daniel informed the apostle Paul about how to process the reception of divine wisdom? He described encountering the magnitude of this divine wisdom as unfathomable, unsearchable, and inscrutable (Romans 11:33). (And I’m fairly confident that if uncomprehensable was a word he would have used that word as well. I’m less confident that if he was to ever read this week’s Pastor’s Desk that he would be impressed with my clever list of un- words in its title.) After Paul described the incomparable wisdom of God, he then drops to his knees in worship and gives God glory for His amazing wisdom. This is what I suggest we do too, even if we have never received a dose of God’s wisdom or a revelation of how magnificent it is.

Your pastor,

Andrew

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SCARED, SCARRED, SACRED

SCARED, SCARRED, SACRED

Tom Hanks is everyone’s favourite actor and I’d like to apologise to him from the outset for distorting one of his most famous and frequently quoted lines –   ‘Australia, we have a problem!’ But I think Tom (as he insists on me calling him) wouldn’t mind once he found out the gravity of the problem that Australia is facing. This problem has been front and centre of Australia’s attention for the past few weeks and while all of the attention has been on the seedy side of Canberra, it was a brave Tasmanian girl, Grace Tame, who set the ball rolling. The shameful scandal over the sexual abuse of the former Parliamentary intern Brittany Higgins may have given some the impression that Canberra has a problem, but the truth is that Australia has a problem, and since this year’s Australian of the Year was announced, we here in Tasmania can no longer deny that the problem is actually rife in our state as well!

  

WOMEN’S GREATEST FEAR

Brittany Higgins’ resolve to seek justice for what happened to her and the way she was treated was spurred on after Grace Tame, herself a survivor of predatory sexual abuse, took up the cause of many other women in a similar situation to her where the legal system seemed to protect the perpetrator and offer no such similar rights to the abused. On the morning of the Prime Minister’s response to the scandal of what had happened to Brittany Higgins broke, the ABC TV News Channel interviewed a woman who was a former lawyer-turned-Canberra-journalist who described her time in the Parliament House Press Gallery where she repeatedly endured inappropriate sexual harassment (which included inappropriate touching and lewdness) during her time there, and, she said, to her shame, that did not report it. Eventually, she too suffered what women fear most. She is now a women’s rights campaigner.

In that interview she said that the problem was that men wrongly viewed sex only on a purely physical level which in their minds has very little consequence beyond the momentary physical encounter. She went on to say that most men do not understand what really happens when they sexually assault a woman. There was, she said, a starkly different reality for women who endured unwanted sexual violation from a man. This stark difference between the viewpoint of men and women was borne out in what men and women fear most. According to her, all of the surveys of what women fear most reveal the same thing: the fear of being raped. Men’s greatest fear, on the other hand, was the fear of being humiliated. She explained that rape was not just a violation of a woman, it was a “breaking” of a woman. It leaves her broken. I was fascinated that she chose to use this word to describe what happened to a woman’s soul as a result of rape.

Former Liberal prime minister Malcolm Turnbull said the place [Parliament] thrives on disrespect for women and compared it to corporate culture in the 1970s.
Sydney Morning Herald, February 19, 2021

Our western legal system is largely based on the Judeo-Christian moral code (or at least it used to be). The protection of women was enshrined into that code and the rape of a woman was equated to the capital crime of murder.

¶ “But if the man meets the [engaged] woman out in the country, and he rapes her, then only the man must die. Do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no crime worthy of death. She is as innocent as a murder victim.
Deuteronomy 22:25-26 NLT

It is a sad reality that women are routinely objectified by men (treated like sexual objects for their gratification) rather than treated as human beings worthy of respect. This is one of the reasons why we can no longer as a society regard ‘porn’ as an “industry” — then deceptively describe it with the euphemism (the art of using nice words to describe something horrible in order to trick people into thinking it as a good thing) that it “empowers women.”

You might remember that when Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner died he was widely described in the media as someone who empowered and helped to liberate women, when what these confused journalists should have said was that he objectified women for the gratification of men and in the process robbed them of something sacred! I recently asked a female lawyer how I as a pastor should go about addressing this problem, she said, “Teach men about biblical manhood—how to properly treat women!” So here I go.

[Treat] older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
First Timothy 5:2

 

I MEAN BE A MAN, NOT A MEAN MAN

Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
Matthew 11:29

I was told recently that the term gentleman referred to a man of substantial means. The Oxford dictionary seems to confirm this definition, but it also states that a gentleman is “a chivalrous, courteous, or honourable man." The word chivalrous isn’t used very often today, but I hope that after men have read this pastor’s desk article this adjective might be heard more often. To be chivalrous is to be “courteous and gallant, especially towards women (typically used of a man or his behaviour).” It is a word that describes a man’s respectful and kind treatment of women. It is therefore a word that we should hope to hear used more often. The best example of a chivalrous man is Jesus of Nazareth. Women felt safe around Jesus. Jesus never hit a woman. When alone with a woman in a private setting (note John 4 where Jesus was alone with the Samaritan women at the well), Jesus never did anything inappropriate. 

¶ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5:25-27

A chivalrous man protects women. A man who truly loves a woman will patiently listen to her and give her his attention. 

 

A SCARRED WOMAN

Broken women are inevitably scarred and also invisibly scarred. Men have an odd appreciation for scars. Women don’t. Many women who have experienced the humiliation of scarring will use different forms of ‘make-up’ to cover and hide their scars including personality make-up, hairstyle make-up, fashion make-up, and even cosmetic make-up.  

A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.
Proverbs 15:13

Some men seem to be able to sense a scarred women and for some despicable reason see them as fair-game. Jesus didn’t. It is my hope that every man who might be disposed this way will accept the challenge to repent, change their view of such women, and learn how to be sensitive to her.  

And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. For she said, “If I touch even His garments, I will be made well.” And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. And Jesus, perceiving in Himself that power had gone out from Him, immediately turned about in the crowd and said, “Who touched My garments?” And His disciples said to Him, “You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched Me?’” And He looked around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”
Mark 5:25-34

 

THE SACRED INVITATION

Australia — Tasmania — we have a problem. The rate of sexual assault in my home state is unacceptable. It is sad to hear that the problem has become so prevalent in some parts of our state that some Tasmanian communities have had to establish their own community based sexual assault support services, such as in Geeveston (which has a population of 616). But there is a solution.

If what I have shared sounds like pious moralising then I have failed in my attempt to persuade men that women should not be considered as objects. If to those who have endured their worst fear I have sounded like an out-of-touch just-get-over-it ignorant male, then again I have failed. The pain – the brokenness – is real. What I hope to have made clear is that what has been happening in Australia’s Parliament House behind closed doors is not isolated or restricted to Canberra. Spend a day in any Magistrate’s Court during an open sitting and you too will begin to realise the extent of Australia’s problem. It is a cultural problem that effects millions of homes across Australia and therefore thousands of homes across Tasmania.

 

WHERE WE MUST START

It is my hope that all men who know and have surrendered to Christ will commit to helping their local church community to become a sacred space where the scared find sanctuary, and the scarred find soothing. The gospel of Christ offers hope and healing for those who have been traumatised and betrayed. It offers the hope of a new start, a new beginning — not just as the moment of conversion — but any moment that a child of God cries out to their Heavenly Father. Salvation, or deliverance, is available to the son or daughter of God any time they call on the name of the Lord — especially when they have been wounded.

For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved [rescued].”
Romans 10:13

If you are a woman who has been scarred, the Spirit invites you to come into the Father’s sacred place by simply calling on the Father (Matt. 7:7). If you are a man who the Spirit is now convicting of your wrong actions or attitudes toward women, then He invites you to come into the sacred place through the door of confession and repentance (1John 1:8-9). And while I hope that each Sunday becomes a safe and sacred place for every man, woman, boy and girl, I also hope that as we continue to build a church without walls, we might imagine that ‘Houston’ might respond to “Jim Lovell” (Tom Hanks) — “We’ve found a solution Jim, a sacred solution, it’s Christ’s redeeming and rescuing and transforming grace that heals, saves, and delivers.” 

Your pastor,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk...