THINGS THAT CHRISTIANS CAN'T TALK ABOUT, Part 1 - Doubt

 THINGS THAT CHRISTIANS CAN'T TALK ABOUT, Part 1 - Doubt

There are several things that Christian’s can’t talk about — not because Christians are incapable of doing so, nor because they are forbidden from doing so, but because they can’t bring themselves to talk about it. Perhaps this is because when a person is redeemed from their old way of life, all his or her negative aspects are expected to be done away with as result. But this is not everyone’s experience. Sometimes, life gets messy, messed-up, and quite frankly – massively disappointing for some. Thus, believers who are supposed to ‘have it all figured out’, feel they can’t talk about: their doubts, their depression, their fear of death, and their marriages that are at risk of divorce. Their reluctance to do so could be because they might be thought of by other Christians as “weak”. But sadly, this reluctance to talk about their struggles with someone they trust only tends to compound their struggles. As a pastor it troubles me to see believers struggle like this. So, I would like to pastorally share some thoughts about this taboo topic of doubt in what will be part 1 in this short series of pastor’s desk articles of four taboo topics that Christians can’t talk about.

 

DEFINING FAITH

“I’ve been having lots of doubts lately.”
“You just need more faith!”

Unfortunately this kind of problem<>solution conversation happens way too often. It reveals two bigger problems. Firstly, it fails to appreciate that there are different kinds of doubt; and, secondly, it seems to misunderstand what faith is and the role it plays in dealing with doubt. Consider how this conversation might have gone – 

“I’ve been having lots of doubts lately.”
“How so?”
“I keep praying and God doesn’t seem to be answering my prayers.”
”Anything else?”
“Well yes. It’s got me wondering whether I’m really saved or not. After all, if I was really saved then God would answer all my prayers, wouldn’t He!”
“How do you know that God is not answering your prayers?”
“Because what I’ve been praying for hasn’t happened yet.”
“I see. Sometimes even those people in the Bible went through what you’ve been going through – with unanswered prayers and doubts about whether God really loved them – and I think that what you’ve been experiencing is pretty normal for most believers. Do you remember what happened to John the Baptist after he baptised Jesus when he saw the Holy Spirit descend upon Jesus and then heard the booming voice of the Father from heaven?”
“Yes. He was later locked up in jail and then sent messengers to Jesus asking if He was really the Messiah.”
“That’s right. His prayers had not been answered and he was perhaps wondering whether God loved him anymore.”

Not every admission of doubt should be treated with a dismissal such as “You need more faith!” Let’s look at the two problems this kind of dismissal reveals.

1. THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF DOUBT

¶ Now when John heard in prison about the deeds of the Christ, he sent word by his disciples and said to Him,
“Are You the One who is to come, or shall we look for another?”  And Jesus answered them,
“Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight and the lame walk,
lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them.
And blessed is the one who is not offended by Me.”
¶ As they went away, Jesus began to speak to the crowds concerning John:
“What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind?
What then did you go out to see? A man dressed in soft clothing?
Behold, those who wear soft clothing are in kings’ houses. What then did you go out to see? A prophet?
Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. This is he of whom it is written,
“‘Behold, I send my messenger before your face,
who will prepare your way before you.’
¶ Truly, I say to you, among those born of women there has arisen no one greater than John the Baptist.
Yet the one who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.
Matthew 11:2-11

John the Baptist’s doubt was circumstantial (his circumstances where negative). He was imprisoned and was probably despondent. But even at that low point, he remedied his doubt by asking for reasons to keep believing. Jesus did not condemn him for having doubts. In fact, he paid John the Baptiser the highest compliment (Matt. 11:11). Some doubts need a pastoral response that provides reassurance.

2. THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS OF FAITH

Some people regard faith as ‘believing things that cannot be proven’. There are, of course, some things that I believe for which I cannot prove are true. For example, I believe in the proposition that: my wife loves me. I feel that I have good reasons for believing this is true. But I can’t support my faith in this proposition with mathematics or a piece of objective evidence. All I have to rest my faith on the belief that my wife loves me is my thirty-seven-year friendship with Kim in which I have observed her self-sacrificing for my happiness and welfare; and, her daily testimony when she tells me, “I love you.” Faith can be based on what we have experienced when it aligns with supporting evidence.

I have faith about some things that I have never seen. I have never physically seen Jerusalem. But I have faith that it exists. Of course I have seen photographs and film footage of it, but there is a risk I am prepared to take in the work of photographers and journalists that they are being truthful. Added to this visual evidence, I also have the eye-witness testimonies of people in whom I trust who have actually been to Jerusalem. Faith can be grounded in the eye-witness testimonies of those who are trustworthy.

Therefore, genuine faith is grounded not just in personal experiences but in experiences that are supported by the observable and consistent evidence of reliable witnesses – including yourself. This means that faith is “trusting the evidence”. This is why Jesus rebuked Thomas the apostle for his refusal to believe the testimony of those he knew could be trusted-

¶ Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came.
So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them,
“Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails,
and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”
¶ Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them.
Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said,
“Peace be with you.” Then He said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see My hands;
and put out your hand, and place it in My side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.”
Thomas answered Him, “My Lord and my God!”  Jesus said to him,
“Have you believed because you have seen Me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
John 20:25-29

 

DEFINING ‘DOUBT’

John the Baptist’s doubt was a cry for reassurance. Thomas’s doubt was a rejection of those whom he had known were trustworthy. But there is also false doubt where someone ceases to have faith – not because there are no longer good reasons to believe or good reasons to disbelieve, but because a person no longer wants it to be true. Paul refers to two of his former colleagues who “rejected and shipwrecked” their faith because they became more attracted to the enticement of what may have been sexual sin-

holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting this, some have made shipwreck of their faith,
among whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.
First Timothy 1:19-20

Yet, there is a kind of genuine doubt that comes from a lack of awareness of appropriate evidence. This kind of doubt requires evidences and good reasons for believing (1Peter 3:15-16).

Then there is a kind of doubt that is actually a spiritual attack which Paul describes as “the flaming darts of the evil one” in Ephesians 6:16 where the enemy lures the child of God away from the source of their spiritual strength – 

In all circumstances take up the shield of faith,
with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;
Ephesians 6:16

This kind of doubt requires being reminded of what God’s Word says. This is why the enemy seeks to keep the child of God from reading the Bible, hearing and experiencing the preaching of God’s Word with God’s people, and sharing with other believers in their small group.

Every believer is going to be subject to doubts. Some genuine doubts might sincerely question God, His Word, and His love. Some other doubts may be masking a battle with temptation to gratify sinful desires. But there is a healthy way to deal with both of these kinds of doubts.

 

DEALING WITH DOUBT

Doubt is normal. Questions that arise from having doubts nearly always have a reasonable answer. Hopefully by now you have heard me say that if you are battling with, or not battling with, your doubts, you should talk with a fellow believer in whom you trust. If you are run-down and battling with illness or injury in which you are physically vulnerable, then let you small group know about it so that they can pray for and with you. The other week I spoke with someone in this situation and they shared just how difficult it was to read their bible each day and to pray. As I spoke with them over the phone and did two things. I shared with them what I had read in my Bible that day and how it had effected me. Then I asked If I could pray for them and did so. Sometimes when we are run-down we need the strength of another believer to have the grace to continue to stand (1 Peter 4:10). This is why our small groups, and interactions with our brothers and sisters in Christ each Sunday after our worship service is so invaluable.

Sharing your troubling doubts with another believer in whom you trust is not something you should feel you can’t talk about. And if you are someone who does have someone share the battle they are having doubts, then remember the exchange between John the Baptist’s messengers and Jesus, and how Christ had responded to them, and be gentle.  

¶ As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.
Romans 14:1

As I approach the sixth decade of following Christ and growing in my understanding of God’s Word, I am now more convinced than ever before that for every intellectual objection to GOD and His Word there is a reasonable answer supporting our belief in the God of the Bible and Bible itself. If you have any doubts about this, let’s have a talk.

Pastor at Large,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk.

READ PART 2, DEALING WITH DEPRESSION

DECONVERTING FUTILITY

 DECONVERTING FUTILITY

Over the past couple of years there has been several celebrity Christian leaders, including pastors and performing artists, who have walked away from Christ in what they call deconverting. They have offered various reasons for their deconversions, including – How could a good God allow evil and suffering in the world? The Bible cannot be inspired since science has disproven it. Why would God create people just to damn most of them to hell? Christianity is arrogant in claiming it is the only true religion! Sometimes these deconversions take years to come to the surface as these various doubts simmer and brew. Sometimes these deconversions are prompted by a tragedy. My guess is that being a ‘Christian celebrity’ also complicates things because the nature of celebrityness is often marked by social disconnection and loneliness where the opportunity to unburden a soul of its doubts isn’t freely available or welcome. This is why the stories of three Christian celebrities in particular is all the more remarkable.

But these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name.
John 20:31

WHY JOHN COOPER DIDN’T DECONVERT

John Cooper is the lead singer of the heavy metal Christian band, Skillet, one of the most popular Christian rocks in the world. On the Skillet website it says, “Grammy-nominated and platinum selling rock band Skillet has sold more than 11 million albums and singles in the U.S., racked up more than 160 million YouTube views and amassed a diehard following whose members number more than five million on Facebook alone.”

John describes part of his story in his book, Awake and Alive To Truth. He refers to growing up in a home where he never got on with dad. He describes his mother though as someone who was passionate about Jesus. She taught John the Bible stories as he grew up and inspired him to love Christ. But then she got sick. As she was in her final moments of her cancer, she said to John that he should never blame God or be bitter toward God, because God was always good! After the passing of his mum, John’s relationship with his dad deteriorated even further. It reached a new level of hostility when his father remarried. John says that he even prayed to God that He would make his father try to hit him so that he could have a reason to physically hurt his father. John retreated into heavy rock music and was part of the formation of the Christian rock band Skillet which were widely popular among Christian and non-Christian music fans. But even though John was growing as a follower of Christ, he was a bitter and angry man and he was now a Christian celebrity. When he married Korey, he refused to allow his father to attend his wedding. (It would be years before the Lord led and enabled John and his father to be reconciled.)

As John rubbed shoulders with other Christian celebrities he became increasingly aware of how shallow their Christianity was and also how scant their theological knowledge was. He was grateful that his mother had not only read Scripture to him, but she had also introduced him to several Christian classics and works of theology. John recently stated that most his best mentors are “dead guys” — great Christian thinkers of the past whose books still speak. His breadth of biblical and theological knowledge is quite impressive. Which is why in contrast to other Christian celebrities who have deconverted for the reasons given above John is so puzzled since their stated reasons are so easily and reasonably responded to both biblically and theologically. His perplexity is compounded when most of these deconverters state that they are “walking away from Christianity but not Jesus” and that they are tired with Christianity’s restrictive code of ethics and from now on they are “going to love all people and be kind to everyone.” John recently told the former lead singer of the Christian Pop group ‘Zoe Girl’, Alisa Childers, that this was like saying, ‘From now on I’m not going to live as a Christian, instead I’m going to following Christ and do unto others as I would want them to do unto me!’ which he says sounds remarkably like Christianity. When Alisa interviewed John on her YouTube podcast she asked him why he hadn’t deconverted. [You can watch their discussion here.]

I greatly respect John Cooper. He’s a young man who has the burden of celebrity status who operates in a world were ‘cool’ is prized and truth is not. 

 

WHY STEPHEN COLBERT DIDN’T DECONVERT

Stephen Colbert is not just one of the funniest men on the planet, he’s also one of the cleverest. Although possibly disagreeing with their view of human personhood, Colbert’s response to the inauguration of President Biden and VP Harris was a model of Christian statesmanship and charity. Like John Cooper, Stephen Colbert is a Christian celebrity who operates in a world where Christianity is viewed as repressive and out-of-step with the current moral proclivities. Yet Stephen Colbert doesn’t take a back-step when it comes to being challenged about his Christianity. This is despite him having plenty of reasons to deconvert. His Wikipedia entry notes, “On September 11, 1974, when Colbert was ten years old, his father and his two brothers nearest in age, Peter and Paul, died in the crash of Eastern Air Lines Flight 212 while it was attempting to land in Charlotte, North Carolina.” In an article by the New York journalist, Jordan Zakarin, he noted – 

Colbert was just 10 years old when he lost his father and brothers. “There’s this big break in the cable of my memory at their death. Everything before that has got an odd, ghostly tone,” Colbert told Anderson Cooper in 2019. “I was personally shattered and then you reform yourself in this quiet, grieving world that was created in the house. My mother had me to take care of, which I think was sort of a gift for her, a sense of purpose at that point. But I also had her to take care of. It became a very quiet house, very dark, and ordinary concerns of childhood kind of disappeared.”

Colbert’s struggle with grief only grew. He told Rolling Stone magazine –  

I needed to be medicated when I was younger to deal with my anxiety that I had thrown my life away by attempting to do something that so few people actually get away with, or succeed at … Xanax was just lovely. Y’know, for a while. And then I realized that the gears were still smoking. I just couldn’t hear them anymore. But I could feel them, I could feel the gearbox heating up and smoke pouring out of me … I stopped the Xanax after, like, nine days. I went, ‘This isn’t helping.’ So I just suffered through it. I’d sometimes hold the bottle, to go like, ‘I could stop this feeling if I wanted, but I’m not going to. Because I know if I stop the feeling, somehow I’m not working through it, like I have got to go through the tunnel with the spiders in it.’

Colbert found great comfort and help in the writings of Tolkien and other Catholic philosophers. He completed a degree in philosophy at Hampden–Sydney College in Virginia. Rather than allowing the tragedy of the loss of his father and brothers to drive him away from God, it led him to seek and find God. He has often said that his journey of suffering and loss has actually helped him to empathise with those who are going through their own suffering from loss and tragedy. 

 

JONI EARECKSON TADA DID NOT DECONVERT

Joni (pronounced ‘Johny’) was the daughter of an Olympic wrestling champion. Their family was very sporty and active. One day in 1967 Joni and some friends went down to Chesapeake Bay for a swim. Joni dived in head first but hadn’t noticed that what she thought was a metre-and-a-half of water was only half-a-metre of water. That was the fateful day that Joni became a quadriplegic. After her accident there was months spent in hospital undergoing rehabilitation to no avail. Realising that her injury was permanent and that she had movement from her shoulders down, she went into depression and became suicidal. Through the grace of God and the patience of friends and family she came to a point of surrender to God’s will.

In 1974 she appeared on the Today Show and gained national notoriety in the United States. By this time she had learned to use her mouth to paint, sketch and write. Her first book, the story of her journey to that point, including her injury, her battle with depression and her suicideation were included, along with her surrender to Christ, came out in 1976 and was instant international best-seller. It was translated into 38 languages and sold over five million copies. In 1979, a movie about her life was released and in that year it was estimated that 250,000 people placed their hope in Christ.

Through the 1980s Joni formed the ministry Joni and Friends which worked to provide aid and practical support to those with disabilities. In 1988 President Ronald Reagan appointed her to the National Council on Disabilities. Joni advocated for the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act which was signed into law by President George Bush Snr. in 1990. In 1994 she launched Wheels For The World which used incarcerated prisoners to renovate used donated wheelchairs which were distributed to those with disabilities in the Third World. In 2000, Joni flew to Australia to be the Olympic Chaplain to the athletes competing in the Para-Olympics. In 2001, Joni began campaigning against euthanasia and embryonic stem cell research.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

All the while that God was using Joni and her story to touch the lives of millions of people around the world, there was also much happening in Joni. She has said that in the early years of her quadriplegia, she hated her wheelchair. As the Lord continued to challenge her to trust Him, she said that she came to place in her soul where she thanked God that she was in a wheelchair! Over the years her chronic pain has intensified. Then in 2010 she was diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer. This led to her having a double mastectomy. After five years of treatment she declared cancer-free in 2015. Then in November 2018 she was diagnosed with a malignant nodule on her chest near the wall of where she had had the previous cancer removed. In December 2020, the 71-year-old Joni was diagnosed with COVID-19! If anyone had reasons to deconvert on the criteria offered by the handful of celebrity Christian deconverters, Joni did! 

Tada wrote for Christianity Today about how her paralysis and desire for healing has changed her view of heaven, saying, “Physical affliction and emotional pain are, frankly, part of my daily routine. But these hardships are God’s way of helping me to get my mind on the hereafter.”

Joni now says that in the midst of her increasing pain and difficulties in breathing and swallowing, she has found that Christ is her comfort and Redeemer. Rather than shaking her fist at God in anger for all her difficulties, she has learned to “lift her hand” (although not literally) to God in worship and surrendering prayer.

 

WHY ROMANS 8 SHOULD STOP ANY CHRISTIAN FROM DECONVERTING

Paul’s Epistle to the Romans is considered to be his finest exposition of what the Christian gospel is all about. In Romans 8 he discusses disappointments. The Christian is not exempt from disappointments, the apostle states. In Romans 8:20, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, he writes-

For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope.
Romans 8:20

“Futility” sums up all of our disappointments. Cancer, death, tragedy, loss, divorce, quadriplegia, and covid — are all expressions of futility. But far from being grounds for deconverting, the apostle Paul, who would spend a good deal of his latter life in chronic pain and discomfort, imprisoned, and then finally led to his death by beheading at the decree of Caesar Nero, could write these words (again) under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit-

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose…Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
Romans 8:28, 35

 

THEREFORE, HERE’S HOW WE HANDLE FUTILITY

Firstly, when we experience any futility, it is not necessarily (and probably isn’t) an attack from Satan. Rather than getting angry at the forces of evil, lift your hands to heaven and worship God. Don’t let your futility be a distraction from you beholding Christ.

Secondly, God’s grace is sufficient for you in the moment you need it. Whatever your futility, God’s grace will be sufficient for you to deal with it.

Thirdly, not all of your good desires will be satisfied in this life and our futilities should remind us of that. In the Resurrection we will have bodies that will never experience sadness, sorrow, pain, sin, shame, grief, sickness, rejection, or humiliation.

If you’re a world famous Christian celebrity reading this, you have an almost unbearable burden to bear. You are also subject to more attacks than any of us could ever imagine. And you are also subject to doubts and temptations. For each of the reasons I listed in the opening paragraph, I have written responses over at Finding Truth Matters. We, the ordinary, work-a-day Christians of the world, need you to represent us and Christ well. You have our prayers. But I hope that I have given you good reasons and encouragement to never doubt God’s goodness or succumb to the temptation to deconvert because of the futility you see in the world. As it happens, I have just recently returned from Hobart where I heard Tim Costello, the former CEO of World Vision, talk about the plight of the poor, the impoverished sick, and the oppressed of the world, who have, since the inception of Christianity, been the subject of Christian aid, care, support, and relief — and continue to be. As Christians we don’t turn our back on God because of futility, we lift up our faces toward heaven and ask God to enable us to be His hands and feet wherever He might use us to minister His grace to those whom we can who are affected by the futility that shall one day be done away with altogether! 

Your pastor,

Andrew

Let me know what you think below in the comment section and feel free to share this someone who might benefit from this Pastor’s Desk.