ECCLESIOLOGY Part 11 - DEVELOPING A HEALTHY CHURCH CULTURE

Every local church has a culture. Culture is a sociological term. It encompasses what a community regards as: proper, acceptable, and honourable. Sociologists refer to these as morēs. Conversely, culture conveys what is: not proper, not acceptable, and is disgraceful and shameful. Sociologists refer to this negative behaviour as deviant. Culture celebrates what a community regards as important, and, what it frowns on. Every local church as a culture, but sometimes that culture is not entirely healthy. In this instalment in the Ecclesiology series, I am sharing some of the insights that we deal with in my church leadership seminar.

 

WHAT HEALTHY CULTURE ACHIEVES

The other week I saw a YouTube video of a Western tourist in Japan who showed a video of passengers on a Tokyo train. The passengers sat in an orderly fashion and were seated in silence. The tourist wondered if there was a Japanese law requiring the passengers to sit silently on the train. He found out that there was not. The reason the Japanese passengers sat on the train in silence was due to their culture. They didn’t need to be told to sit quietly – they just knew that it was the proper thing to do. This kind of positive culture is something any local church can achieve, if it works on the following two principles.

When I Kim and speak at a church for an extended weekend it is our mission to serve that church community and to help them to be even more effective in their mission to reach their community. This involves sharing on a Friday night with their youth or young adults about relationships; then sharing on a Saturday morning with Kim speaking to the ladies and myself speaking to the men; then a mid-morning leadership seminar with Board members/elders/team leaders;  a Saturday night dinner with the pastor/s elder/s; and on Sunday sharing in the morning service/s followed by an open (for anyone attend) Q&A luncheon. In the church leaders’ seminar we look at what makes for a healthy church. It is in this interactive seminar that we discuss the elements of what makes for a positive culture in a church. In essence, from my study, and the feedback we have received from these seminars, I can reduce what is needed are these two factors: firstly, the leader, and secondly, the attitude of the church.   

 

1. THE INDISPENSABLE RÔLE OF THE LEADER

The leader of a local church may be identified as the elder, pastor, senior pastor, senior minister, rector, or even the leader. Their title is not necessarily a critical issue. What is indispensable though is that they lead. It simply can not be overstated just how important their role is. The leader carries the weight of responsibility for the tone of a local church’s culture. It is not only the leader’s preaching which contributes to their culture-setting. It is their example –

• How they treat people, how they deal with interruptions,
• How they speak to their spouse and child/ren,
• How they interact with their staff and/or volunteers,
• How they manage their time,
• How they admit their mistakes,
• How they take correction,
• How they deliver correction,
• How they respond to tragedy,
• How they they open their home to show hospitality,
• How how they use those who are better than them,
• What they laugh at – or – what they get angry at, and,
• How they strive to improve their strengths and weaknesses. 

 

2. THE ATTITUDE OF THE CHURCH

While the leader is ultimately responsible for teaching sound doctrine and to exposit the Scriptures, as critically essential as this, it is not enough to ensure a positive and healthy church culture. It must be supplemented with a demonstrated explication of sound doctrine and the Scriptures. That is, a preacher can be a brilliantly powerful preacher who is an amazing teacher of God’s Word – but this is almost irrelevant if this preaching and teaching is not reflected in their godly attitude. When a leader consistently models a godly attitude it has an incalculably positive effect on their church’s attitude. Therefore, the senior leader must preach, teach, and model the biblical description of a godly attitude. This description is found in Colossians 3:12-17.

(12) ¶ Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,
(13) bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
(14) And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
(15) And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
(16) Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.
(17) And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
COLOSSIANS 3:12-17

If I was to list these attitude qualities, and then ask you, “How would you feel if your church was described by others as:

+  Compassionate

+ Kind

+ Humble

+ Meek

+ Patient

+ Forebearing

+ Forgiving

+ Loving

+ Harmonious

+ Peaceful

+ Thankful

+ Biblically literate

+ Wise

+ Prayerful and Pious (worshipful)

+ Sincere and holy?

Conclusion: The Gospel informs us that a culture can change. People can change. But what is needed are champions of cultural change who embrace the Church’s God ordained charge to be counter-cultural. When there is a champion of change – and better still – a champion team of change – building a healthy culture within a church is absolutely possible. And as this culture continue to be pursued I suspect that there will be many people who will be attracted to this church’s Christ-fragrance. Please pray that it does!

Amen.

Complementary Audio Podcast

ECCLESIOLOGY Part 10 - THE CHRISTOFORMITY PATHWAY OF A LOCAL CHURCH

For anyone to take their Christianity seriously requires that they believe the will of God for them is to be conformed to the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29). Thus, being a disciple of Jesus is to walk on the pathway of and to Christoformity (being increasingly conformed into the image of Christ). Another way the Bible describes this spiritual journey and its link to the role of a local church appears in Ephesians 4 -

For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

EPHESIANS 4:12-15

 While each local church has a collective purpose (what a church congregation is called to do together) it also has a mission directed at each individual: their Christoformity. This is not just the focus of the pastor, based on the ministries referred to by the apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:11, it is the ministry of each diverse ministry-gifted person within (or connected to) a local church. In Ephesians 4 Paul uses the word maturity (Gr. teleios) for our term Christoformity. This is why each local church committed to Christoformity is like a bird which can only fly with two wings as it seeks to facilitate their congregation collectively worshiping together, [wing #1:] through singing their adoration of God, commemorating Holy Communion, heeding God’s Word for the congregation, “the passing of the peace” (fellowship), presenting offerings, exercising spiritual gifts, Scripture readings and prayers; and, [wing #2:]  one-on one (or small-group) discipleship through Bible study, systematic theological, pastoral prayer, personal witnessing, admonitions and correction.

HOW CAN A BELIEVER THROUGH WING #1 and #2? 

1. Become a committed member of a local church family (Eph. 4:15-16).
2. Commit to learning to know God and His Word (Eph. 4:20-21).
3. Seek the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit (Eph. 4:22-24).
4. Humbly accept being challenged and corrected by those who know and love you (Eph. 4:25-31).

HOW CAN A LOCAL CHURCH DEVELOP A PATHWAY FOR CHRISTOFORMITY?

1. Establish a preaching curriculum to ensure there is intentionality about your congregation being biblically and doctrinally educated. This would also include educating about the Creeds (Apostles and Nicene).
   
   
2. Promote the purpose and reason for the ordinances of water baptism and communion so that each believer within the congregation understands this is a vital part of their discipleship (Christoformity) pathway.
   
   
3. Do not be a one-winged bird. Do not hinder your responsibility to take your congregation on the Christoformity pathway by assuming that Sunday attendance alone was enough. It isn’t. Ensure that all of your key people are on a two-winged pathway.
   
   
4. Promote discipleship triplets and/or small-groups for wing #2 to be facilitated.
   
   
5. Create a culture of servanthood and humility whereby people willingly serve with their time, talents, and treasure so that they are an increasingly focused on blessing others. 
   
   
6. Create a leadership culture whereby key people are trained to: (i) Prioritise their own lives; (ii) Develop their own Christian disciplines; and, (iii) Mentor others to do (i) and (ii). 

  

 DEVELOPING A DISCIPLESHIP PATHWAY 

I would strongly recommend that every local church leadership team creates an achievable discipleship pathway which accommodates:

1. A pre-Christian discipleship  > 

  2. New Christian discipleship > 

   3. Connection into a mentoring/small-group discipleship relationship > 

      4. A Bible study program > 

        5. Leadership and serving  mentoring > 

          6. Leadership/governance role. 

It is important that this pathway be a prayerfully collaborative effort by a local church’s key people. It is also important that the congregation buys-into this pathway and that it is promoted and led well. The simplest way to implement this pathway is to encourage everyone in the church to sign-up to progress through the first step to the sixth step. 

ECCLESIOLOGY Part 9 - PROBLEMS AND GROWING PAINS

 

I suspect most church leaders want their churches to numerically grow. Such church growth, though, is often elusive to many church leaders. While there is no guaranteed formula for achieving numerical church growth, there are certainly well-established ways for a local church not to grow (which I will refer to shortly). There are some churches that experience rapid growth then, just as rapid, experience decline - and are often bewildered as to why. Perhaps it is not true in every instance, but often this happens because of how these churches process problems. That is, churches which are ill-prepared for dealing appropriately with problems inevitably will probably experience numerical decline. This is why every church which is seeking to sustainably grow numerically must know how to process problems in a healthy way.

SEEING PROBLEMS DIFFERENTLY

The late David Cartledge told me something quite counter-intuitive about what was the measure of a good leader: 

“The measure of a leader is determined by the size of the problems they solve!” 

I have never forgotten this gem of wise insight from Dr. Cartledge. This comment has significantly helped me to grow as a leader and to view problems quite differently. Rather than seeing problems as roadblocks, hindrances, distractions, or setbacks - I began to understand the relationship between problems and the growth of a leader. (Every parent understands this problem:growth relationship as they help their young children grow into adults as they help them to learn how to deal with increasingly complex life problems.) By viewing problems as an opportunity for growth, a leader can then approach these problems with the aim of resolving them rather than retreating from them. By seeking to resolve a problem a leader becomes teachable and open to learning new solution strategies. This leads to him or her becoming more equipped to deal with similar but bigger problems next time.

I have noticed that when a church leader stresses too readily over minor setbacks or disappointments, the confidence placed in them by those they lead tends to be diminished. Similarly, when a volunteer, team or department leader is confronted with a problem which is overwhelming them - and their senior pastor shows them how to solve that problem wisely, their confidence in the senior leader grows. Thus, dealing with problems, rather than avoiding or denying them,  is essential if a leader and his or her church wants to grow. However, the problem:growth relationship is also inversely relative...    

GROWTH CREATES NEW PROBLEMS!

It’s almost like the classic problem of which came first - the chicken or the egg? Not only does solving problems within a church potentially lead to numerical growth, numerical growth creates problems! The first (and ongoing growth problem) is resistance to change. An anglican church growth consultant used the analogy of retail businesses to illustrate this growth problem. 

1. Consider the mum and dad corner-store. In Australia these used to be called milk bars. They sold bread, milk, newspapers, cold drinks, a few essential grocery items, and confectionary. These stores would have a regular number of customers from around the neighbourhood. The store owners knew many of these customers by name. Churches with up to 70 regular attendees are run like these corner-stores.

2. The independent hardware store. These stores may be privately owned by one owner, but will have a few staff also employed. The owner is known by those who shop in his store, and he knows some of them by name. Churches with 100 to 180 regular attenders are like these stores where there is a senior minister who also employs one or two part-time assistants.

3. The department store. These are larger stores which sell a variety of goods that are organised into departments. The manager of the store is probably not the owner and therefore is not personally known by the customers. There could be around 20 or more employees with some of them working as department managers. Churches with 200 - 700 regular attenders are like these stores where most congregants do not deal directly with the senior minister but do have a pastoral relationship with assistant pastors who oversee a department of the church. 

4. The Shopping Centre. These are the largest retail expressions where nearly everything that is ordinarily sold, is available for purchase. These shopping centres include large department stores, specialty stores, entertainment, dining, and comfortable environs and décor. Customers do not generally know who the centre manager is - and probably do not mind this. Their concern is that they can comfortably shop and get what they want when they want it. These centres cater for people from all backgrounds, ages, and tastes. Churches with a regular attendance of 2,500 - 5,000+ are often like these shopping centres (and are referred to as “mega churches”. The senior minister is probably a gifted orator whose preaching/teaching is what attracts people to the church's Sunday services. But this is also supplemented by professional level worship singers and musicians, a well-run concurrent children's program, professional quality multi-media presentations, and clearly defined discipleship pathways which enable people to get involved and utilise their gifts and ministries. 

Consider these four scales of church growth and consider the challenges that would have been encountered by those leading in #1 to grow to the size of #2. Imagine the circumstances where this growth may have been foisted upon the mum and dad because of overwhelming customer growth and demand. It is not too difficult to imagine that this mum and dad may have been overwhelmed and decided to sell their small business to someone who was not overwhelmed by the prospect of this growth - in fact, the new owner may even look forward to the challenge of restructuring this business so that it could grow. This is a scenario faced by many type #1 churches and pastors.

CONCLUSION

No matter what type of church it is, problems will arise and need to be wisely dealt with. As church leaders and churches grow, commensurate problems will arise. These problems should not thought of as unusual. Consider the narrative through the Book of Acts. In nearly every chapter there is a problem > solution > growth pathway.

Note the problem which led to the initial restructuring of the church's leadership and ministries:

Acts 6:1 ¶ Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution.

Acts 6:3 Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. Acts 6:4 But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.”

Problems force us to humble ourselves and seek the help, assistance, and advice of others. This is an important ingredient in growing stronger. While prayer is essential and important for solving overwhelming problems, too many pastors deny themselves the means of growth that is derived from wise and godly counsel because of pride - or perhaps, ignorance. If you want your church to grow it begins with a willingness to seek it and to be transformed by God's Spirit so that it can happen — which means this growth will commence in you first! I encourage you to seek the kind of growth that strengthens you in wisdom, knowledge and character. And this can only begin to happen when a leader is committed to humbly following Christ and heeding His Word.  

I welcome your feedback below.

Ecclesiology Part 8 - THE USE OF SPIRITUAL GIFTS WITHIN A LOCAL CHURCH

Christianity is a vital (living) relationship with God through the presence of, and interaction with, the Holy Spirit whom Christ said had dwelt with His followers, but would (after Christ’s ascension) dwell in them (John 14:17). The presence of the Holy Spirit in the lives of Spirit-filled believers is referred to by the apostle Paul in First Corinthians 12 and 14. In writing to the Thessalonians after a short visit in which he planted their church, he told them: “Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good” (1 Thess. 5:19-21). In this article, I will explain how a believer should “test” prophecy and not end up despising prophecies.

John 16:7 “Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper [the Holy Spirit] will not come to you. But if I go, I will send Him to you.”

The God of the gospel is a trinity of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. In J. Gary Millar’s 2021 book, Changed into His Likeness: A Biblical Theology of Personal Transformation, he makes the case that the gospel is trinitarian - that is, it involves the Father’s plan of redemption, the Son’s redeeming atonement, and the Spirit’s abiding presence and activity in the redeemed. Millar argues well that many reformed preachers regard the role and work of the Holy Spirit as an historic event - but not in a present ongoing role and work. That is, they often have a high Christology - but at the expense of a low Pneumatology. This, Millar states is a deficiency in our collective understanding of who the Holy Spirit is, and what His ongoing role is. While some conservative pastors may respond to this by stating that they are merely protecting their congregations from charismatic excesses - such as what Charismatics claim to be ‘prophecies’, it would be somewhat difficult to see how this complies with the instructions in First Thessalonians 5:19-20. 

Rather than rejecting all expressions of the Holy Spirit’s gifts (especially the verbal gifts mentioned by the apostle Paul in First Corinthians 12), we would be better advised to apply First Thessalonians 5:19 (Do not quench the Spirit) and verse 21 (but test everything; hold fast what is good). 

THE PRINCIPLES FOR USING & TESTING THE GENUINENESS OF SPIRITUAL GIFTS

Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says “Jesus is accursed!” and no one can say “Jesus is Lord” except in the Holy Spirit. / ¶ Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; / and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; / and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. / To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. / For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, / to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, / to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. / All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.

FIRST CORINTHIANS 12:3-11 

We have the above record of the apostle Paul’s instructions to the Corinthians because there was misuse and misunderstanding of these spiritual gifts by some of the Corinthians. We are the beneficiaries of their ignorance and the apostle’s understanding. What we see here is that within the assembling of believers, (i) there was a time for these gifts of the Spirit to be used; (ii) the use of the spiritual gifts was for the common good of the congregation; (iii) some of these spiritual gifts were verbal (spoken) including: the utterance of wisdom, the utterance of knowledge, prophecy, speaking in tongues (unlearned languages), and, interpretation of those tongues. Other spiritual gifts referred to were non-verbal including: (i) faith; (ii) healing; and, (iii) working of miracles. Presumably, these non-verbal gifts were associated with praying. 

Further to these comments, the apostle goes on to say that these gifts should be used “decently and in order” (1Cor. 14:40). (This will form a part of the testing profile for evaluating the authenticity of spiritual gifts.) What we see here from these apostolic remarks is that spiritual gifts should not be prevented, but that they should be used considerately (the remainder of First Corinthians 12 talks about this). The considerate use of spiritual gifts is also an aspect of the testing profile. Gifts should also be used decently, and in order. The apostle goes on to say that no more than three people should publicly use a verbal gift (1 Cor. 14:29). There is a testing implication in this apostolic remark that the one who wishes to exercise a verbal spiritual gift will be known by those in the congregation, and conversely, will also know their fellow congregants in order to exercise their spiritual gift considerately and in order. 

What we observe thus far is that the exercise of a spiritual gift may be tested by:

• Does it glorify Christ as Lord?
• Has the spiritual gift been in accord with the revelation of Scripture?
• Is it for the common good of the congregation?
• Was the gift used to draw unnecessary attention to the one exercising it?
• Have those who are spiritual and in oversight attested to its genuineness?
• Was the person sharing the gift in good standing with congregation? 
• If the exerciser of the gift was under prohibitive discipline, did they have permission to share their spiritual gift?

I have good reasons to believe that the Holy Spirit still gifts believers today, particularly those who seek it, with the spiritual gifts described in First Corinthians. I do not consider that when the apostle Paul said that “when the perfect has come, that which is partial [spiritual gifts] will be done away with” (1Cor. 13:10) that he was referring to the canon of the New Testament as being “the perfect”. The flow of thought throughout First Corinthians culminates in the supra-physical resurrection and glorification of the redeemed in chapter 15 as ushering in the perfect instead. Thus, my foundational reason for believing in the reality of the gifts of Spirit for today is theological. Secondly, I have experienced being a recipient of the gifts of the Spirit through other believers, and have myself exercised the gifts of the Spirit. 

I acknowledge that there are some risks for a local church to encourage the use of spiritual gifts in their weekly worship service. However, there remains a biblical warrant for doing so. There is also a risk:reward potential benefit with the benefit being leveraged when the gifts of the Spirit of used prayerfully. This could be done by inviting people to publicly and spontaneously pray in a church service in which their spiritual gift becomes a part of their spontaneous prayer.

POSTSCRIPT: FILTERS FOR EVALUATING THE AUTHENTICITY OF PROPHECY

While I have given a theological and experiential basis for the use of spiritual gifts within a church service I think there is some wisdom in the following observations. Firstly, most prophecies recorded within the Bible were not necessarily predictive - they were more commonly a prophet reminding God’s people of God’s Word. This is kind of prophesying is forth-telling rather than predictive fore-telling. Therefore, it is more likely the Holy Spirit will similarly gift a believer with an encouraging reminder of God’s Word through a prophetic gift. Secondly, prophetic words recorded in Scripture were less likely to be directive - commanding people to do certain things. To be sure, the Old Testament prophets called people to repentance and summoned their hearers to return to obedience to God’s Word - but only rarely were they specifically directive beyond this. Therefore, it is incredibly unlikely that the Holy Spirit would gift someone with a directive word for a church to obey. 

Sadly, I have pastored some people who have been sorely abused by false-prophecies. I offer this wisdom to anyone who is supposedly given a prophetic word: 

1. Is this prophetic word coming from a credible person? That is, how well do you know this person, and how well are they spoken of by others?

2. Is this prophetic word a confirmation of what God has already been saying to you. Note Acts 21:10-14 where Agabus the prophet gave the apostle Paul a prophetic word which confirmed what God had already been saying to Paul.

3. Has the one giving you this prophecy insisted on you not telling anyone? Secrecy is often an indication for concern!

4. Has this prophetic word got an urgent time-frame, or certain conditions to be met in order for it to be confirmed? If so, never act impulsively on a directive prophetic word without seeking advice or counsel from someone you trust.

I conclude with one final reflection. Every preacher should be ‘prophetic’ in the way they teach and preach God’s Word forthrightly with passion and a call to obey the gospel. Wherever and whenever the Scriptures are not being proclaimed from the pulpit, there will be a vacuum created resulting in an increased amount of verbal spiritual gifts being used (even if people go looking for it on the internet)!

ECCLESIOLOGY Part 7 - THE LEAST PASTORED PEOPLE IN ANY CHURCH

I have long said that the least pastored person in any church is the Pastor’s wife. I suspect this may still be true but I cannot offer any supporting data for this hunch. However, what empirical data I can offer is fairly easy to confirm is that the people who are the least pastored and most neglected in any church are its singles. These maybe: (i) young adults who have left their parental home, (ii) a divorcee, (iii) a widow or widower, or (iv) an unmarried adult. Often times singles are made to feel like they are abnormal and that being married (or at least ‘paired’) is the norm they should be striving for. Most churches do not have a very good theology of singleness - but they should, because chances are they have all four categories of singles already represented in their church. What I hope to do is not merely rehash the problem, but offer some practical measures for addressing.

A BIBLICAL APPROACH TO SINGLENESS

Biblically, the goal of being a single is not to be married. Every faithful follower of Christ should not make marriage their idol. If you are single Christian and you think that your life is less than it should be because you are not married, you should repent. The biblical goal of singleness is actually the biblical goal for each person: be holy. This involves living your life to please and glorify God (Eph. 5:10; 1Pet. 1:15). It is not mean shaving your head, joining a convent, and living on a mountain-top isolated from the world (it might though if that’s what God calls you to do!). Being holy involves living as a whole person. Wholeness is literally the idea behind the word - integrity. This means living as one person no matter what or who your audience is. Do not think that being married will necessarily help you in striving towards this goal (you can verify this by asking someone who is married, “Since being married, do you sin less than you did before you were married?”).

SINGLENESS AS A NORMAL WAY TO LIVE

Biblically, many of the finest examples of godly living were single. I think of Jeremiah, Daniel, Deborah, Anna, Paul, and of course - Jesus. Each of these people were celibate, content, and profoundly fulfilled. Some, like the apostle Paul, actually saw being single as an advantage to fulfilling what God had called him to do. But he also said that his singleness was a gift from God (1Cor. 7:7) - a gift that not everyone has received. 

The brief selection of people whom I have just referred to in the above paragraph reveal that being single can be a divine calling. For some this will be a temporary calling, for others it may be for life. In either case there are challenges which singles may find more difficult to navigate than those who are married might. The first is loneliness. 

LONELINESS

Isa. 53:2 For He grew up before Him like a young plant,

and like a root out of dry ground;

He had no form or majesty that we should look at Him,

and no beauty that we should desire Him.

Isa. 53:3 He was despised and rejected by men,

a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;

and as one from whom men hide their faces

He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.

Being single can mean greater isolation from others and increased time alone, but it does not necessarily have to mean being lonely. Times of loneliness will be normal for singles. Church communities should be aware of this challenge for singles and sensitively respond. The apostle Paul, whom we have just seen was called to be single, found that in his loneliness he could draw support from other believers who were sensitive to Paul’s situation (being imprisoned).

Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry.

Second Timothy 4:11

In Frederic W. H. Myers’ 1863 poem, Saint Paul, he captures how the imprisoned apostle faced his solitude and potential loneliness with worship of the Christ-God who was with always with him:

CHRIST! I am Christ’s! and let the name suffice for you,

Ay, for me too He greatly hath sufficed;

Lo with no winning words I would entice you,

Paul has no honour and no friend but Christ.

   

Yes, without cheer of sister or of daughter, 

  Yes, without stay of father or of son, 

Lone on the land and homeless on the water

  Pass I in patience till the work be done

 

Yet not in solitude if Christ anear me

   Walketh Him workers for the great employ,

Oh not in solitude, if souls that hear me

   Catch  from my joyance the surprise of joy.

Hearts I have won of sister or of brother

   Quick on the earth or hidden in the sod,

Lo every heart awaiteth me, another

  Friend in the blameless family of God.

SUGGESTIONS FOR CHURCH TO MINISTER TO SINGLES

1.  Pastors and elders - be sensitive to singles and do not ignore them. Counter the trend within most churches where singles are the least pastored segment within any church.

2.  Take a biblical approach of ministering to singles by discipling them to be holy by giving them a pathway to Christoformity. Help them understand that their primary life-goal is not to be married, but to know, love, serve, and intimately follow Christ (holiness). 

3.  Do not treat singles as deficient people who need to married to be ‘fixed’. The challenges of singleness, such as loneliness, can be responded to in a healthy way by a caring church community which can provide friendship and authentic fellowship for singles. 

4.  Recognise that some singles are hopeful of finding a soul-mate. Therefore, do not take a “one size fits all” approach to pastoring the singles in your church (remember that there are four categories of singles who do not all want the same thing). This may mean that  programs, events, groups, are facilitated by a church whereby singles who are open to courtship can socialise together to improve their chances of this happening.

Let me know what you think about this in the comments below.

ECCLESIOLOGY Part 6 - AND THE FAMILY HOME

 

Over the nearly four decades I was pastoring, I was guilty of making an assumption. While I was preaching through the bible; writing small-group bible studies; baptising new converts; counselling engaged couples to prepare them for marriage; dedicating new-borns; taking young men through the manhood rite of passage; and, officiating our young ladies through the affirmation of womanhood, I was assuming that parents were taking what they learned and were teaching them to their children. But it seems I was mistaken. 

[A young man participating in the Manhood Rite of Passage]

In recent times I have spoken with several parents who have been dismayed that their children seemed to have given up on church and living as Christians. Coincidentally, each of these parents have said, “All we can do is pray!” I certainly think that parents should be praying for their children — but I do not think that it is all that parents can do - or should have done. 

[My wife, children, grandchildren, and John.]

PARENTS NEED TO ‘DISCIPLE’ THEIR CHILDREN

It is a lot easier to become a parent than it is to be a parent. Fathers and mothers are ordained by God to raise their children to know God and His Word. This necessarily involves being the community of a church family. The New Testament links being a family: husband and wife, with their children, connected into a local church.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,  because we are members of his body.  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:28-33 

Each father, in particular, has the responsibility to pastor his wife and children. While it may not be feasible for a husband and father to do everything on the list of pastoral duties which I mentioned in the opening paragraph, the responsibility to read God’s Word; lead in prayer; correct, teach, instruct; take his son/s through a manhood rite of passage; affirm his daughter/s as a woman and lady; dedicate his newborn to the Lord; with his wife and children is. 

Last week, Kim and I became Grandparents for the second time. We now have a grandson and a granddaughter. My children now repeat how they were pastored by me and Kim. Two days after my granddaughter was born we drove down to Hobart to be with Tyrone and Steph and Dorothy. When I asked Tyrone if he was praying with Dorothy each night, he affirmed that he was — but also added, “And we’re reading the Gospel of John chapter by chapter as well!”  

Here is what every Christian father and mother should do with their children to disciple them to be followers of Christ:

1.  Be role models of fully-devoted followers of Christ.

2.  Let your child/ren see your devotion to Christ as you read your bible and pray.

3.  Pray, and read the bible, with your child each day (I recommend at the end of the day as they have gone to bed).

4.  Be involved with a local church so that your children recognise that they have a biological and a spiritual family (get them involved in Kids' Church/Sunday School, then Youth Group, as they grow up).

5.  Eat your evening meal at a table as a family and make giving thanks to God (“saying grace”) then treat this time as a routine for talking together, reading a devotional to them, and then training your child/ren to pray).

6.  Fight for your child's spiritual well-being in prayer regularly throughout your day.

7.  Make enhancing the romance of your marriage a priority.

[Officiating at an Affirmation of Womanhood ceremony where a newly turned teenage young lady is presenting with a pearl necklace, and the men of the church are charged to protect her:] 

THE DISCIPLESHIP CONNECTION BETWEEN A LOCAL CHURCH AND THE FAMILY HOME

If we were to read through Colossians 3:1-21,  we would read of the link between the home and the local church. Of the character traits prescribed in this important passage are not possible to attain without a healthy connection within a family, and a local church. This is why both are spiritually important for the development of young children into fruitful, faithful, full-on, followers of Christ. Something I haven’t mentioned - perhaps because it is obvious -  is the important modelling role that the senior minister/leader of a church plays. Reading through First Timothy 3:1-7, where the New Testament lists the requirement for an elder/shepherd, it grounds these requirements in what happens in the church leader’s home: “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive - for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church!” (1Tim. 3:4-5).  This is why the senior pastor and his wife must exemplify what a Christian home looks and sounds like to their congregation.

[My daughter, Zoe, with her drawing of me (I'm apparently wearing the green jelly-bean one-piece), Kim,  Tyrone, Zoe’s self-portrait, and her big sister, Ebony. {Ruby was not born yet.}]

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