JOINING THE 37° HONOURS LIST

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THE 37° HONOURS LIST

Each year the Monarch of British Commonwealth selects distinguished people to be added to a presitigious list of emminent persons. There are certain people that stand out in life. These certain people are like warm fires on a cold winter's night. They cause you to smile when you've noticed that they see you. We draw comfort, strength, and encouragement from these people. They are always giving and looking to help. We hold these people in special regard - and just the British Monarch does, we mark them 'on a list' (of sorts). I have a list in my head of nice-to-be-around people whom I have marked. Have you? You may not have received a Knighthood, an OM or an OAM, but have you been marked on someone's list as a nice-to-around person?

There are of course people who would be unlikely to be admitted to such a list. These people are prickly, grumpy, hard-to-please, nit-picking. They put you on edge. They argue with you over nothing. They are demanding and difficult to get along with. They tend to burn instead build relationships. We usually mark these people as well - but on a different list!

Life is going to be difficult for the ones who don't make right list. I don't mean the Queen's list of super-achievers, or the Prime Minister's recommended list of notables - I mean those lists that you and I keep of nice-to-be-around people. Of course, we will probably disagree on the finer attributes of what we find appealing in such a person, but I have a hunch that the qualities such people must have to be on our personal nice-to-be-around lists will include-

(i) an ability to add value to us;

(ii) being easy to get along with;

(iii) somewhat uplifting;

(iv) knowing how to say what has to be said in a winsome (pleasant and inoffensive) manner; and,

(v) being generous with their time, treasure and talents.

We not only find these people attractive, we like and value them. We trust them.

HOW YOU GET ON SUCH A LIST

Despite the impression that Facebook may give, the average person in their ordinary connections will end up interacting with around 67 people. These include family, close friends, work colleagues, acquaintances, and transactional people such as clerks and sales assistants. The average person is nice to a degree which determines how many of these 67 people want to be more involved with them - which is on average about 6 people. But the marked on a list nice person is on so many nice-to-be-around lists because they have learned how to add value to others. (It is an exceptionally nice person who could be on all 67 people's nice-lists.) The have learned from the following curriculum-

• Talk humbly of yourself
• Accept responsibility for your own decisions, actions, and choices
• Take a genuine interest in others
• Live consistently by a set of ethical rules
• Ask for forgiveness when you have wronged someone
• Be teachable even from those you teach
• Don't sweat the small stuff
• Be flexible with the moods of others and adapt accordingly

They have learned this. It sounds nice and tidy when we use the word: "learned". But true learning is never 'tidy' and rarely 'nice'. It's most often difficult, frustrating, painful and tedious. Hmm, isn't it strange that nice people are only produced through experiencing and overcoming such unniceness! Don't be fooled into thinking that the above 'curriculum' is a simple "tick-the-box" exercise. It is neither simple nor is it an event. It is a process that is marked necessarily by more failures than successes (which gives such unnice people like me some hope!). If you ever get to meet a really nice person you will be meeting a somewhat broken person - although this will not be obvious for quite some time.

As I consider our task to represent Christ through our church to a world increasingly cynical about "The Christian Church", I know that I have not beennice enough. I must change. My hard heart must become softer. Since the things that annoy me are the measure of me - that is, I am only as big as the things that annoy me, I must learn to not let so many things in life annoy me. And most importantly, I must learn to take a greater interest in others and have a concern for them - both in this life but especially for their eternal life to come. Thus, if I love people I will seek to draw them to Jesus Christ and the forgiveness He offers leading to eternal life. Perhaps by doing this I may end up being 'listed' on someone's 'People Nice-To-Be-Around List' or The 37° List for short?

THE 37° LIST, THE ONE LIST THAT MATTERS

People have been keeping nice-lists for a long time. Around 1000BC an Oriental King, known for his wise sayings, advised his readers to 'mark' certain people. He summed up the qualities that I have listed with three words: blameless, upright, peaceful.

Mark the blameless and behold the upright,
for there is a future for the man of peace.
Psalm 37:37

King David's statements in Psalm 37:37 about "marking" certain people is where I get the idea of "The 37° List". Blameless in this verse doesn't mean perfect (otherwise no one could be on that list). It does mean that all wrongs committed have been put as right as they can. It stands in contrast to the one who doesn't accept responsibility for their actions and always blames others -  they are not blameless - rather, they are blamefull! And upright indicates that they do what is right as a lifestyle - not merely because they are afraid of getting caught, but because they truly want to do what is right. The future which King David speaks of for the blameless and upright person is not merely stating the obvious. In this context it means a bright future filled with increasing numbers of blessings. And like all good lists of honoured people which have a Patron,The 37° List also has a Patron: Jesus The Christ. He is the Ultimate expression of a blameless, upright, man of peace. 

Maybe you've already found Him to be the One who invites you to come nearer to Him, excites your faculties, inspires your potential, soothes your hurts, and makes you feel cared for?

Not many of us will have the necessary connections to make the Royal List of Honours, but we all have the potential to make The 37° List. Now wouldn't that be nice.

Andrew

POSITIVELY PROVOCATIVE

"Safe?" spurted Mr Beaver, "Aslan, safe? No, he's not 'safe', but he is 'good'!" Lucy could have asked a supplementary question: "Is he kind?" To which Mr Beaver could have responded without hesitation- "Yes. Aslan is the kindest person in the world." Can you be 'kind' without being 'safe' or 'nice'? Absolutely! In fact, sometimes you have to not be nice in order to be kind! Arguably one of the stand-out hallmarks of the Christian is that they are kind. It is an essential fruit of the Spirit, one of the main attributes of the God we worship and one of the distinctives of Christianity under pressure compared to other religious systems. But kindness can be provocative.

1. KINDNESS PROVOKES WONDER

Before our souls were regenerated and transformed, we snapped back at those who irritated us. If someone cut us off in traffic we would have yelled abuse at them. But then the Spirit of Christ came into our soul and we became kind. Rather than snap, we bless. Rather than lash, we love. Jesus has gripped out hearts with kindness. When someone doesn't give us the kind of customer service we want, we don't get ugly, we kindly ask- "Are you having a bad day?"

When we respond in kindness we catch most people off guard- they don't know how to react to unfair kindness. Put some coins randomly in somoene's expired parking meter. Go through through the McDonald's Drive-Through and pay for the next car's order. Get involved in a volunteer organisation. It causes them to wonder why you are kind. Show someone kindness and they'll wonder why.

¶ Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant
1Cor. 13:4

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,
2Tim. 2:24

2. KINDNESS BUILDS BRIDGES

It's called the Law of Roses. Do something kind for someone and you build a bridge to their heart. When a young man buys and gives a young lady a bunch of roses, he builds a bridge to her heart (the Law is also known as The Law of Roses & Chocolates). Successful businesses know that if they give away a generous sample of their product they will likely build a bridge to a potential customer. Growing churches have also found that when they encourage their people to do acts of kindness for their neighbours, they often see these people come to Christ.

Mow your neighbour's lawn. Bake a cake and take it over to your neighbour. Write a Christmas card to your member of Parliament and letting them know that you are praying for them. Offer to take the next door neighbour's children to Kids' Club or Sunday Kids Church. Kindness provokes curiousity about the God who inspired such kindness.

"...Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior."
1Pet. 3:1b-2

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Eph. 4:32

3. KINDNESS INSPIRES

One of the main functions of the Church community is to inspire each other to acts of kindness. In Hebrews 10:24, the New Living Translation uses the expression, "outbursts of love and good deeds"-

Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds.
Hebrews 10:24

A few years ago we had a young single Mum join our church. Her husband had left her with a couple of young children to look after. She drove a bomb for a car. A few of the men in our church at the time got together and bought her a better car. It's moments like these that I'm proud to be the pastor of our church!

Meeting together each Sunday gives us each an opportunity to show kindness to one another, and to provoke kindness in each other ("Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds." Heb. 10:24). Some people who come to our church have little to no contact with anyone else through the week. Meeting people at church on Sunday is nearly the only contact with others they have. So when we have our handshake/hug time in our worship service this is the only time for some people in which they are touched by someone else! Looking someone in the eye, asking them how are they in their soul, demonstrating to them that you have heard them, and giving them a hug, could be an inspirational act of kindness that ends up touching many lives.

In the classic story, Les Miserables, the main character (Jean Valjean) experiences overwhelming kindness from a pastor. His life is entirely redirected from crime to civil service. Having experienced unearned kindness, he dedicated his life to also showing kindness to undeserving others. This story is a powerful illustration of how kindness can change a life.

If you're struggling to act kindly to your husband, wife, children, friends, family or customers, ask God to help you to be kinder. If you get angry easily, then ask God for forgiveness and the grace to be kind. By acting kindly toward people who have done nothing to deserve it, we positively provoke them to wonder. By showing kindness to others in your church family you are fulfilling Hebrews 10:24 and provoking positively.

So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
Gal. 6:10

Father, please help us to reflect You. When we feel like snapping at someone or saying something that cuts unnecessarily, please restrain us. When we feel self-pity because although we reach out in Christian love to our brothers and sisters it won't always be repaid. Forgive us for getting angry at others far too easily. Give us a frsh appreciation of Your great kindness towards us so that we can be kinder. May You love both the world and the Church through us. Cause us to be kind, inviting, welcoming and redeeming. In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen.
Eph. 3:21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Ps. Andrew