LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!

LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!

You were made to be noticed. You were created to be someone who would be valued. This is clear from the opening chapters of our Bible where the God-Who-Notices (Hebrew – El-Roi) came down in the cool of day and walked with Adam. Adam received his Creator’s undivided attention. Perhaps our Creator was modelling to our first forefather what he would one day do for his own children. Because, as Adam and Eve would readily discover, children needattention – and importantly – critically importantly – the attention of their father and mother (who each represent two important aspects of God’s love to their children). But there was a snake in that perfect idyllic garden! That satanic snake hoodwinked our federal heads with false attention and lies! Two despicable tragedies resulted from its deception of Adam and Eve. Firstly, their brokenness fooled them into thinking that the God-Who-Sees (El-roi) did not really notice them. Secondly, their responsibility to represent God’s care to those they would parent was now made defective. This double-faced tragedy would then compound with each successive generation. Three thousand, seven hundred and fifty generations or so later, this insidious evil has compounded into a disaster of global proportions! If you feel unnoticed, unseen, unheard, or unappreciated, there is a solution. If you feel inadequate as a carer, a husband, a wife, a father, a mother, a sister, or a brother, this solution is your answer too. 

¶ So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen Him who looks after me.”
Genesis16:13

ATTENTION: IT’S LOVE!

Our need for attention is an aspect of the love we were created to experience. It is a healthy desire. Giving another our attention is an act of love. But, like all things now wrong with the world, our need for, and ability to give, attention has been corrupted by the Fall. The evil result is: desperate attention-seeking, depression, anger, pouting, sulkiness, tantrums, and moodiness. Ironically, the remedy to this right-attention. In Dr. Jordan Peterson book, 12 Rules For Life, he gives a psychologist’s perspective on why some people are so attention-seeking. He indicates that it probably stems from a somewhat neglected childhood. He tells of how many parents today are more interested in their children’s approval than they are in being their parents. This leads to wrong-attention where parents simply give their children everything they demand rather than giving them right-attention which he calls “incisive attention”.

Children must be shaped and informed, or they cannot thrive. This fact is reflected in their behavior: kids are utterly desperate for attention from both peers and adults because such attention, which renders them effective and sophisticated communal players, is vitally necessary. 
Children can be damaged as much or more by a lack of incisive attention as they are by abuse, mental or physical. This is the damage of omission, rather than commission, but it is no less severe and long-lasting. Children are damaged when their “mercifully” inattentive parents fail to make them sharp and observant and awake and leave them, instead, in an unconscious and undifferentiated state. Children are damaged when those charged with their care, afraid of any conflict or upset, no longer dare to correct them, and leave them without guidance.
Jordan Peterson, 12 Rules For Life, 2018:122

ATTENTION: IT’S NOT ALWAYS WHAT YOU THINK YOU WANT OR GIVE

Peterson warns parents from trying to be their children’s friend – “you are much more than a friend” he writes. The attention we all crave is not just to be noticed, but for someone to care for and guide us. The longing for this kind of attention that we all have is ultimately satisfied in an intimate relationship with God. Parents, friends, colleagues, and siblings can only ever be mere shadows of this ultimate Source. Having been a pastor now for nearly 30 years, I have learned to detect those who have looked to me to satisfy their longing for attention. These people are generally very short-fused, and are constantly finding that people let them down – especially those closest to them. In every instance, this misplaced longing has stemmed from a disconnect with one or both parents – especially their father. Sadly for them, they quickly realise that I am not their solution, but I know the One who is. Being attention-satisfied in God will most often require them to extend forgiveness to their parent or parents for their neglect. I witnessed the miracle of transformation in people who have taken this step. They let go of the anger, frustration and disappointment with their parent/s and undergo a beautiful transformation from irritable-with-everyone to at-peace-with-themselves-and-everyone else. It’s a gloriously beautiful thing to witness. Ironically for these people, their grumpiness and inability to relate meaningfully with others is discarded for a new persona of forgiving-forgiven-free-and-now-happy-soul which actually makes them attractive to others. And attractive people get healthy attention from their peers.

¶ The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous
and His ears toward their cry.
Psalm 34:15

BROKEN ATTENTION

What happens when a young person does not receive the appropriate right-attention of the kind that God has ordained for them? The result can be an attention vacuum which can lead to such a young person becoming vulnerable to the slightest and ill-intentioned attention from those with less than noble motives. To a lesser extent, because we are created to be given attention, then to give attention, a child will often resort to whatever works in their pursuit of attention. This is where parents in particular must instruct their children about what should be appropriately rewarded with attention, and what kind of poor behaviour should be corrected.

¶ Come, O children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
Psalm 34:11

  

WHOLLY ATTENTIVE

Are you hurting and broken within?
Overwhelmed by the weight of your sin?
Jesus is calling
Have you come to the end of yourself
Do you thirst for a drink from the well?
Jesus is calling

O come to the altar
The Father’s arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ
Leave behind your regrets and mistakes
Come today there’s no reason to wait
Jesus is calling

One of my major ministries as a pastor is to help people to come to wholeness. Wholeness begins with a recognition of brokenness. This is an acknowledgement that things are not working, life is frustrating, disappointment happens too often, and crankiness happens too easily. Psalm 34 is beautiful prayer of someone moving from brokenness to wholeness. It describes the role of surrendering to God in worship, looking to Him as the Source of our delight and satisfaction and living under His care. It describes the attention we were all made for. It describes the awakened soul who realises that God is their Audience. It describes the soul who not only looks to God, they seek God. It gives the newly whole person the reassurance that while it may appear that no-one notices, sees, or listens – God does! He is the solution to the attention deficit disorder that so many are blighted with. It is my prayer that together, as a church, we can help more broken people come to wholeness by discovering the richness, beauty, and magnificence of The Christ. I hope you will join me in that prayer.

When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
 ¶ Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
Psalm 34:17-19

Pastor Andrew

WHEN NOT TO ASK, Becoming An Experienced Carer

IT's always done with the best of intentions. We see someone, we feel a measure of compassion for them. We approach them. We reach out to them. Most people appreciate being asked. But not everyone. Those who have no foreseeable way of ever being 'better' than they are often dread being asked. Sometimes to them, we utter the fateful words and all our good intentions are undone. I've been on both sides of these conversations. Lately, I've been on a side I never thought I'd spend too much time on. Before I explain myself, I need to tell you a weird story. 

When He went ashore He saw a great crowd, and He had compassion on them and healed their sick.
Matthew 14:14

BEFORE I talk about Stephen King’s, The Green Mile, I need to disclose a journey I’ve been on secretly for the past fifteen years or so. Some of us are born with gifts and natural abilities. My journey began because I was frustrated that I wasn’t naturally what I knew I needed to be for the call Christ had on my life. People would tell me that I had a gifts to teach and lead. Many pastors would be content with this. I wasn’t. I began a habit each Sunday morning before I went to church. I didn’t tell anyone. I would go for a walk and pray. I asked God to change my heart, to give me compassion for others, to help me to hear people, to help me to see people, to help me to help people. I prayed to God that people would be healed as they heard the Word preached.                                                                                                                          

And when the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.”
Luke 7:13

After a few years, my heart had been softened toward others in answer to these pleading prayers. There was an embarrassing downside to this answer to my prayers though – and it has nearly jeopardised Kim’s willingness to accompany me to the movies! I now cry easily at anything remotely moving in a movie. Several times on an interstate flight while watching a movie Kim has jabbed me and told me to “Stop it!” The sobbing I thought I am concealing in a very mild manly manner is apparently not that manly or concealed!

But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.
First Thessalonians 2:7

This prayer for supernatural compassion has continued all these years later. And here’s where it now gets nearly too weird for Stephen King. I mentioned from the pulpit the other Sunday that as I have been praying that God would help me to be a faithful pastor. But something strange has been happening. I prayed for someone with a ‘kink’ inside their neck causing them headaches. Shortly after this I was diagnosed a kink inside my neck (after an MRI exam) causing me to have headaches. I prayed for someone with painfully irritated tongue. I began to have an irritated tongue. I prayed for someone with what sounded like a bulging spinal disc causing them back-pain and someone else unable to come to church due to their back-pain. I then began to experience excruciating back-pain and was diagnosed by another MRI with two bulging spinal discs. I prayed for someone with an infected toe. Soon after this I walked bare-footed onto my lush lawn to water it and was suddenly bitten on my toe by a ‘Jack Jumper’ (think, ‘Fire Ant‘) which overnight turned into an infected toe. And then I received a prayer request from a dear friend in Missouri, Pastor Ted Heaston, asking me to pray for his left ankle to recover. This week I was discharged from hospital (for the second time in two weeks) with a severely infected left ankle! 

 

On the day that I hear that Pastor Ted is now in the clear with his ankle, I too have just come from my doctor and heard that my infection is now subsiding. There are other examples of this sort of thing, but these samples give you the idea of what’s been happening in my world over the past few months in particular. This has given me a new insight into the world of those who are unwell, injured, in pain, or sick. Armed with this insight, and now having to endure my own chronic conditions which I won’t bore you with, I can tell you there are things you shouldn’t ask a person who is having their own health battles, especially, How are you?

For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.
Second Corinthians 5:2-4

EXPERIENCED CARERS LEARN THE LANGUAGE OF CARE

Genuinely caring people can have the best of intentions but be unhelpful in either their comments or questions. On the other side these conversations, I can say that it is nice to know that someone cares when you hurt. One of the reasons a question like, How are you? can hurt so much is that it can show a lack of consideration and thoughtfulness. Similarly, those in pain can also feel a bit exasperated when someone says to them,’You’re looking well. I guess you’re now better.‘ And probably the worst thing to say is, “I know exactly what you’re going through!“

¶ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
Second Corinthians 1:3

People who are not well can get tired answering the question, “So how are you?” (Especially when it should be obvious that they are not well – or worst still, there is some evidence that this is their new reality.) Instead, try this, “Can I get you a cup of tea?” “Would you like me to get you a chair?” “Can I carry that for you?” Experienced carers who have a relationship with the one who is hurting can get away with things like, “How can I best pray for you?” Often times this invites the hurting one to share  what they feel comfortable sharing. The problem with always being asked, “How are you?” is that after a while you feel you’re invalid who just whinges all the time! During one of my recent stints in hospital, I appreciated being asked by nurses and doctors, “Are you in pain at the moment?” Or, “Can I get you something for your pain?” 

As I've said, most people appreciate being asked how they are. But, the next time you meet a grieving parent, a chronically ill person, someone physically disabled, or someone battling depression, you'll now know what to ask and what not to ask. And if you ask me to pray for your rare exotic medical condition, forgive me if I hesitate for a moment before I pray for you, but at least now you'll know why! 

Pastor Andrew

[See also: Comforting Complex Grievers]

Lessons from the move into our new auditorium

From Hear To Hear

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
Second Corinthians 3:18

We move through life. It is a journey. Along the way, we pass people, scenes, experiences, moments. These all become our memories. If we undertake our journey by always looking back to these memories we run the risk of bumping into our present – which can hurt. Life’s journey happens most sweetly when we keep moving forward. We leave the past behind as we walk into our future. While this can be challenging for any individual, it can be particularly difficult for a group of people such as a family, or church to journey together. 

“Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.”
Isaiah 43:18-19

It can be difficult for a family to move house. Often they are leaving behind fond memories and a place where they have felt secure and comfortable, not to mention great neighbours. As difficult as this is (and our family has done it seven times) imagine moving home to another country! (We have several families in our church who have made this difficult transition.) Not only do they have to contend with a new house in a new location, they have all of the challenges of being without extended family networks, or even the benefit of long-term friendship connections. Churches also have to journey which similarly involves leaving some things behind – pastors, worship styles, and even buildings. 

Our church is about to undertake the next step in our journey. It involves saying ‘goodbye’ to our old sanctuary as we leave it for our new one. Kim and I helped to build our existing auditorium (which we opened on August 31st 1996). Twenty-one years later, we are now less than four weeks away from the Grand Opening of our new auditorium.

For me, this means leaving behind the place where I have baptised several hundred people, married many couples, dedicated many babies to the Lord, preached several thousand sermons, counselled hundreds of people, and seen many more people finding saving hope in Christ. I’m sure that there will be many others who could also share fond memories associated with our old auditorium. Even though our new building has been constructed quickly, the move from our old auditorium into our new one has been a careful, considered, and collaborative one. Every step of our journey – from the need, through each stage of the development, has been transparent, explained and exciting. We owe a huge debt of gratitude to Geoff Hill for the brilliant oversight of this project. He has sacrifices his time, sleep, and energy to make this happen. Along with Geoff, several other tradesmen have given of their time and skills to help us on our journey. 

One of the things we have said regularly through this building project is that it has never been about the building. One of the things that we have improved over the last couple of years is our ability to hear. We hear the heart-ache of people. We hear the struggles of those in relationship breakdowns are experiencing. We hear the confusion of young people. We hear the tears of the elderly. We hear the cries of the lonely. Everyone wants to be heard. It validates them. It tells them we care. It helps them to know that we aren’t here to merely preach at them – we are genuinely interested in them and how we can help them. This has led to our church building a reputation as a safe church – a church that cares.  

¶ I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
Ephesians 4:1-2

As we transition into our new auditorium, we will be gathering in a building made from ‘rubbish’ wood which has been selected, shaped, and glued together (“LVL” – laminated veneer lumber). This is a picture of our church which is made up of broken people who have been selected by God, shaped by God, and joined together in Christ. It is a building which is nearly three times the size of our old auditorium. This too is indicative of what God has done in and among us over the past few years. It will be a building with a lot of glass. This should remind us that we are transparent and invite people to look in all the while remembering that we are called to reach out to those outside.

¶ And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,
Colossians 1:9

But most importantly as we transition from the old to the new, let us continue to hear. May we hear one another. May we hear the broken, hurting, lonely, and confused – and may we especially hear God, who always hears us. I will always be reminded of this because of what my American friend Pastor Dan Miller requested. He apologised for not being able to attend our Grand Opening. On Facebook he wrote on my wall asking for a favour. He requested that I write “Ephesians 3:20-21” underneath the place where the Word will be preached each Sunday in our new building. Today, I honoured his request.

¶ Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21

Amen!

Pastor Andrew

It Starts This Sunday

IT STARTS THIS SUNDAY

This Sunday, there will be someone coming to church who is looking for something. If someone really knew them, they might describe them as hurt and lonely. But they would never openly admit to that. They’re not quite sure what they’re looking for but they know they haven’t yet found it. They at least know that they crave for someone – anyone – simply to listen to them – to understand them. If someone could just see them, noticethem…care. They pray to God asking Him to help. Perhaps this is why they are giving church a go this Sunday.

remember that you were at that time separated from Christ … having no hope and without God in the world.
Ephesians 2:12

They will come to church this Sunday. They will wonder how God might answer their prayer for someone, anyone, who will give them time – listen to them – care.  The Devil knows he is at risk of losing one of his own if they go into his Enemy’s domain. He also knows he can’t injure the Spirit-filled, Spirit-sensitive, Spirit-led follower of Christ. It frustrates him that these Blood-Bought ones daily arm themselves in prayers of surrender to the One who shed His blood for them, and, that they sharpen their spiritual swords by filling their hearts and minds with the Word of the Lamb. But he can sometimes deceive them. 

For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.
Second Corinthians 10:4

If Satan hasn’t been able to deceive the Christ-follower with an excuse to not go to church, then he loves to use another old favourite trick that is nearly as effective: busyness. 

But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”  ¶ But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!
Luke 10:40-41

This Sunday, someone is coming to church. They’re empty. They’re lonely. They ache and don’t really know why. They are open to God, but don’t know Him. They will watch closely those who do claim to know God. Will they notice them? Will they reach out to them? Will they listen to them. Will they care?

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

Will you notice them? Will you reach out to them? Will you listen to them? Will you care? If your prayer is indeed a prayer of surrender to the One who notices everyone, who reaches out to everyone, who listens to everyone, and who cares for everyone, then your prayer will be answered. In fact, someone will be coming to church this Sunday because someone who daily prayerfully surrenders their heart to Christ in private worship has already reached out publicly to them with an invitation to come to the place where Jesus meets with the hurting-hearted. Someone’s life is going to be saved and renewed and it starts this Sunday. 

Ps. Andrew